Video and transcript below the fold.
You may remember back in January, our President, Barack Obama, made this promise.
BARACK OBAMA (1/27/2010): This year, I will work with Congress and our military to finally repeal the law that denies gay Americans the right to serve the country they love because of who they are.
Yes, promise made, promise kept. Although to be fair, an easy promise. I mean, repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell is supported by 82% of Democrats, 64% of Republicans, and 100% of Ladies Gaga.
LADY GAGA (9/21/2010): ARE YOU LISTENING?!?!?
Ga ga, ro ma ma....
Anyway, yesterday was the big Senate vote. Let's go to the results.
WOLF BLITZER (9/21/2010): A defense bill that includes a provision on repealing the ban failed to move forward in the Senate today.
(audience boos)
Were you booing me? How neurotic would I be if that's what I thought?
Great, so now repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell joins the bill to help 9/11 first responders with their chronic health problems, as popular bills Congress has somehow managed to snatch from the jaws of victory. A phenomenon we now explore in our latest segment, Are We Run by Assholes?
How does a popular bill not become a law? Kids, it's very simple. First, rather than just have people vote on the merits of repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Senate Armed Services Committee chairman Carl Levin (D-MI) attached repeal to a military spending bill, to try and force people who wouldn't otherwise support a repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell to vote for it anyway, or risk looking soft on defense. Oh, that sound political strategy. Judges?
HORSE CARRIAGE DRIVER: What an asshole!
So, with the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell now attached to the defense bill, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell says Republicans would now like to add 20 amendments, so Democrats have to vote for things they don't want to vote for.
JEFF LEBOWSKI: You're just an asshole!
Well, how do you expect Majority Senate Leader Harry Reid to respond? 20 amendments, bitch? Nuh-uh. You get one! And you know what? I'm gonna add in the DREAM Act, which gives illegal immigrants a path to citizenship through military service, just to fuck with your head! How do you like me now?
CAMERON FRYE: Pardon my French, but you're an asshole!
So Senator John McCain is then, all right, well I'll filibuster this shit. I got nothing but time, I'm only 126, and we won't be able to vote on anything.
TONY MONTANA: You're all a bunch of fucking assholes!
Not that there wasn't any debate. Here's Okla-no-homos' own James Inhofe, on repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
SEN. JAMES INHOFE, R-OK (9/21/2010): I think it's a political mistake, it's a dumb thing to do to try to use the Defense Authorization Bill in times of war to advance a liberal agenda. And what is that liberal agenda? The liberal agenda is to have open gays serving in the military.
Oh, liberal agenda, is it? All right. Well, I'll give you Lady Gaga. But, what about the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff?
ADM. MIKE MULLEN (2/10/2010): No matter how I look at this issue, I cannot escape being troubled by the fact that we have in place a policy which forces young men and women to lie about who they are in order to defend their fellow citizens.
OK, hippie. (smokes joint) Although cherry-picking a member of the military who supports the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell maybe isn't all that fair. I mean, you could probably do the same thing on the other side.
SEN. JOHN MCCAIN, R-AZ (9/21/2010): The Senate should not be forced to make this decision now before we've heard from our troops. ... This isn't just my view. This is the view of all four service chiefs: General George Casey, the Chief of Staff of the United States Army; Admiral Gary Roughead, Chief of Naval Operations ... Admiral Gary Roughead ... Admiral Roughead ... Admiral Roughead ... Why are we now trying to jam this thing through?
Must not... make... blowjob innuendo joke! And pray McCain doesn't also mention Lieutenant Colonel Snugglenuts, or Brigadier Ballsonchin, General Fletch Butterknob, Private Spooner Glasscock, Rear Admiral Throatsucker McSwallowjizz. All right, I found the room.
Of course, Democrats mounted a passionate rebuttal.
9/21/2010:
SEN. DICK DURBIN, D-IL: These are the kind of young people we need in America's military, high school graduates from cultural institutions that respect the military, people who are going to make more diversity in our ranks. That's who we need.
....
SEN. HARRY REID, D-NV: Would my friend yield for a question?
DURBIN: I'd be happy to.
REID: I say, through the chair, are you telling the American people that the Secretary of Defense, a man chosen by the President of the United States, not only this President, but the last President, is in favor of our passing the DREAM Act? Is that what the Senator from Illinois is saying?
DURBIN: I would say to the Senator from Nevada exactly that.
When did this turn into a late-night infomercial? Would the Senator from Illinois be ill-advised to act now? Yes, the Senator from Illinois would not be ill-advised, and in fact, the Senator from Nevada will be willing to throw in, if the Senator from Illinois is willing to act now, a set of Pet Steps, steps for your pet, a $30 value for free! Well, the Senator from Illinois would be a fool not to take advantage of this.
Of course, none of these shenanigans matter unless the Democrats can break the Republican filibuster and bring the bill to the floor. But they're going to need 60 votes, meaning their entire caucus, and ONE Republican. One. Susan Collins, Republican, moderate, Maine, Lady Gaga fan?
SUSAN COLLINS, R-ME (9/21/2010): I agree with the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral Mike Mullen, that the Don't Ask, Don't Tell law should be repealed.
Looking good!
COLLINS: I think it's the right thing to do. I think it's only fair. I think we should welcome the service of these individuals who are willing and capable of serving their country.
Feeling good!
COLLINS: But I cannot vote to proceed to this bill under a situation that is going to shut down the debate and preclude Republican amendments. That too is not fair.
Collins! So the Army's multi-decade policy of discrimination against homosexuals, forcing them to live a life of secrecy and shame for the privilege of defending this country is an injustice! But not as unjust as the majority party attempting to limit amendments. Say, in the exact same way the Majority Leader Bill Frist did when he broke a Democratic filibuster of a bill to shield gun manufacturers from lawsuits filed by victims of gun crimes, with the help of one, say it with me, Susan Collins of Maine. Ah yes, are we run by assholes? Indeed.
Jon's point at the end is worth repeating. For all that we may clamor about the Arkansas Senators betraying us, we just needed ONE Republican. Not a SINGLE Republican would help. Not Susan Collins, not Olympia Snowe, not Scott Brown, nor the retiring George Voinovich. Not. One.