My girlfriend called me this morning, and burst into tears. Another 13 year old has died, a victim of years of bullying.
This nation's conscience is being held hostage by people who call themselves Christian, but who block measures to protect children because they want to pretend that glbt youth don't exist.
I am not going to say that this boy was gay. The news report I read said he was, but it really doesn't matter. Go ask your nearest 13 year old what the worst insult you can throw at someone is. That's gay. You fag. We are allowing this to happen. The adults stand back and allow kids all over this country to hurl that's so gay and you fag around as if they are harmless because we are afraid to piss off the fundamentalists and say the truth that we all know. Many of the kids teased on the playgrounds for being gay grow up to eventually come out as gay.
Yes, there are gay children out there, because gay is not exclusively about having sex. Gay is about how we relate in the world. Take it from me, and many other kossacks: it's damned lonely growing up feeling different and not knowing why and eventually realizing that you are that thing that is universally hated in your social group.
But God forbid we should address the plain truth that there are gay children in our schools, either being emotionally damaged for being different, or hiding desperately so that they won't be, or even more horrifyingly, both.
Everyone on Kos, every one of our citizens has the responsibility to protect the children that we as a society force to be in school. There is no excuse that we can hold up to these dead children's families.
And although I'm disgusted by the pack instinct that urges kids to turn on each other, these are children we are talking about, and there are adults in charge. We need to lay this responsibility at the feet of the public school system. They compel children to be there, and they bear responsibility for the safety of those children.
Please take a few minutes in memory of the kids who were driven to suicide by the hateful irresponsibility of our system, and talk to the people in your life about bullying being the school's responsibility to stop. We all live in a school district. Call your school district and ask them what their policy on bullying is. If you stumble across someone who is being bullied, make sure that child is being protected. Writing a letter to the school asking how they are going to discharge their responsibilities WRT someone who is being bullied and not protected will often bring some relief. Use a letter from a lawyer if you have to. Let the district know that your child will not be coming back to school until they demonstrate a plan of how they will keep them safe.
The number of children going through bullying is unacceptable, and the fact that a huge proportion of those children eventually come out as glbt is too stark a reality to ignore.
UPDATE: Dan Savage's It Gets Better Project is a really good thing. It makes me love him and everyone else who has contributed. But I disagree that anyone who is being bullied right now needs to tough it out. These are children. They need to be protected from this kind of crap.
Also, The Trevor Project is very good. An easy way to donate to them is to text TREVOR to 85944 to donate $5 to The Trevor Project.