“Music changes every six months, Huck – if you don’t change with it, you get left behind.” Elvis Presley in Jailhouse Rock.
It’s about the music, Stupid – not the stupid strobes and circling floodlights blinding the audience to whatever may be on stage. If any wardrobe malfunctions occurred last night, the secret was safe behind the blinding lights. Maybe that was an insurance tactic.
Now that the final stats are in, I realize the problem: Production Numbers – 16 – Award Presentations – 10. The numbers don’t lie.
“Music changes every six months, Huck – if you don’t change with it, you get left behind.” Elvis Presley in Jailhouse Rock.
Yes, I know this. It has been so ever since Sam Phillips and Elvis grabbed the American music market from the 4 Preps and Perry Como, and shook it real hard. But the Grammy’s I watched last night seem to be missing the point . . . with regard to . . . the music. It’s about the music, Stupid! Not the stupid over-production elements.
Lady Gaga is a sensation. But let’s face it – her talent lies not in her voice. No apologies; ask her what she’s most proud of on stage. She puts together some nice dance choruses, but backing up what? And her costuming continues to be a bad novelty act. Even her audience couture is too stupid to be considered “over the top.” Her real talent? Self promotion? Everybody’s the best at something.
Justin Beiber has less talent than the gap between Alfred E. Neumann’s front teeth. Thankfully, this perception was validated with his shut-out. Why were all these “industry professionals” sucking up to him in their remarks? Because they were afraid he might cop a jealous attitude, like he did with Tom Brady. Hey, Brady is twice Beiber’s age and has better hair; plus, talent in other areas that the little pisher can only dream about. Like several others in the night, his performance was characterized by over-produced chorus numbers, aided by blinding strobes, to mask the dearth of talent.
Or what am I missing here? Maybe something changed in the past six months and I got left behind like Huck in Jailhouse Rock.
It was not all bad. Bruno Mars has some serious chops as a singer and a player. IMHO, he carried the trio number with BOB and Janelle Monae. “Janelle, doll, listen to me; I’m your friend, OK – that hair, please. Put an axe to it. It never looked good on the “Big Boy” hamburger guy, and it doesn’t work for you. I’ve been trying to tell you that since the NBA All Star game last year.”
Eminem is a brilliant writer – a fact more easily discernable when he’s performing at something slightly slower than a 16/4 time signature. OK, maybe I’m exaggerating a little. But his set with Rihinna and Dr. Dre was one of the highlights.
Where was the tribute to Al Bell? C’mon, this Stax legendary producer was given a wonderful tribute . . . hours before the broadcast began. I read about it, but didn’t see it. Like they couldn’t cut down one of those silly production numbers to give us a worthy historical tribute, which had great entertainment value?
Aretha is still queen. At least they acknowledged that, though her tribute also suffered from gross overproduction.
Bob Dylan is an iconic hero and one of the 5 greatest American songwriters along with Irving Berlin, George Gershwin, Cole Porter and Duke Ellington. (OK, let’s argue about that one! Put up your best 5!) And his voice was one of the best in the industry at one time, though he often chose to disguise that. The big production number behind him didn’t do him any service. Let him growl on his own – he’s still got plenty to offer doing just that. He didn’t need a musical group hug.
It’s about the music, Stupid – not the stupid strobes and circling floodlights blinding the audience to whatever may be on stage. If any wardrobe malfunctions occurred last night, the secret was safe behind the blinding lights. Maybe that was an insurance tactic.
If I never hear that Lady Antebellum Nashville Hook Anthem again (“Need You Now”), the song will forever be seared into my hard drive. It got WAAAAY too much airplay last night, which leads to another programming problem. They took all the suspense out of several awards, by having a nominee perform the song in advance.
The bit with Cee Lo and Gwyneth Paltrow was a scream. The costuming and dance production worked for that one. Sometimes, the wardrobe man gets it right, despite the excesses.
It is required that female performers display their arms, shoulders and upper body, no matter how infrequently they visit the gym. Miranda Lambert – do you hear me? What if a man showed up at the Grammy’s, Tony’s or Academy Awards wearing an elegantly fitted tank top, cut from a rare fabric? Then the women would have to top that with shorter skirts, and the Red Carpet would soon become a Frederick’s runway. Hey, that doesn’t sound so bad.
Barbra Streisand still has it. And she’s matured to the point to realize that she no longer has to sing in that super-high register that can be painful to listen to. Her rendition of “Evergreen” may have insured that one for “classic” status. Many great female singers never learn that just because you CAN sing in that super-high register, it isn’t necessarily pleasant to the ear. I’ll say it again – MUSIC SHOULDN’T HURT! Copy that to Arcade Fire.
Mick still looks great in that skinny suit – he fills it out nicely. Next time, let him bring his own back up band. I hear they’re tight.
Esperanza Spalding and Bruno Mars represent the new upside of the industry. But the tired downside prevails too.
Now that the final stats are in, I realize the problem: Production Numbers – 16 – Award Presentations – 10. The numbers don’t lie.
H. Scott Prosterman