I am a trans woman. I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria. Since I am primarily attracted to women, this makes me a lesbian. There is a common misconception among cisgender folk that trans people, by definition, experience a particular sexual orientation. To be specific, that trans women are really just effeminate gay men, and that trans men are just masculine lesbians. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Follow me below the fold, if you please.
The reality is that neither gender identity nor sexual orientation are truly binary, and they are not directly linked. Just as we now (generally) recognize a broad spectrum of sexual orientations, from pure heterosexual to pure homosexual, and everything in between, so are we beginning to recognize that gender identity experience also exists along a similar continuum. Those continua exist separately in most, if not all, individuals.
There is a major controversy among trans people as to whether GID is truly a mental / emotional issue, or whether it arises from physical causes. My opinion is that it is analogous to the way homosexuality was at one time considered a mental illness. I see the evidence for the physical causes, and at the same time, am willing to acknowledge that my culture's reaction to gender variance causes emotional problems for many, but not all, trans people.
And so we come back to me, personally. If you look at my profile here, you will see it indicates I am female. I am. My body only tangentially appears female, but that doesn't change my mental, emotional, psychological me. This past November, I began my real life experience phase (for the second time) of my transition. For a great many years, I was actively denying, even to myself, who I am. I wore a full beard most of my adult life, even as a part of me knew that was just a mask. As you may have read here, I have had a great deal of experience with the medical industry, through my experiences with my wife Barbara, and her fight with lupus. What does that have to do with my being a trans woman?
Barbara not only encouraged me to pursue a better understanding of this part of me, she had been working on her own issues with being seen as part of a lesbian couple. When we went out and about in the final months she could do so, I went out as a woman. We were affectionate in public, and were seen by most people as a lesbian couple. She loved me enough to deal with all that brought about.
But then she was hospitalized, and she feared the effect that transphobia, homophobia, and gender discrimination might have on her care. Rather than risk my issues affecting her quality of life, I gave up my transition for her. After she passed away, I grieved for a long time, deeply. Then, when I felt strong enough to do so, I started again. I am still grieving, and likely will be for a long time to come. But I also know that I must move on.
So why this, and why now?
I have reached a point in my life, as I seem wont to do, where yet another issue demands my attention. This time it is the issue of transphobia, transgender rights, and hate crimes against transgender people. You may have seen the excellent series rserven published recently on the NCTE / NGLTF report "Injustice at Every Turn". If you haven't, I would highly suggest you do so. You can find it on her blog here, or at TransAction, which is a recently formed Daily Kos group focusing on these and other issues that affect transsexuals, transgender, and other gender non-conforming people.
I don't mean to imply that I have a short attention span. I don't. I have seen the damage done by the medical industry here in the United States, up close and personal. I will not give up my fight for single payer health care, because I believe it is the only right and moral solution to that problem.
But I have also seen with my own eyes the effects of transphobia. I have experienced the fear of going into a public restroom while presenting female. I have been to the observance of the Transgender Day of Remembrance. I have seen on the news the story of the homeless man in Houston who murdered five women, two of whom where trans women. I have seen how the media disrespect us by reporting our legal names, rather than our preferred names, even when we are the victims of crime. So it seems there is another windmill for me to tilt at.
And if I may be so presumptuous, I would offer now a bit more reading for those inclined to be sensitive to people like me:
Breaking today:ACT NOW: Texas Senate Bill 723 attacks transgender people I guess the battle never ends.