My dad died back in February. I wrote about him here. The memorial was Wednesday. About 1000 people attended.
Nine people spoke. I came last.
It was very nice.
And now, it's my first father's day without my dad.
If you'd like to read more of my thoughts, they are below the fold
This father's day brings on some sadness. There's all sorts of things I won't be able to do with him, most of all, just talk. The older I got the closer we got.
But on this father's day, I am thinking of how to honor his legacy best, because he left one. One thing he did is leave money for each of his children to give away; he did this by leaving it to the Jewish Communal Fund, which lets you give to any charity you like. So I've thought about which ones.
Here are my choices:
Union of Concerned Scientists – I’m a geek. Science is mandatory. These guys are making science comprehensible to legislators. They're educating people, they're fighting for transparency, they are helping scientists communicate. Most scientists are used to talking (or writing) for other scientists. Some few are good at popularizing science, which is another kind of communication. But very few are good at yet a third kind of communication: Talking to politicians. UCS is working to change this.
Drug Policy Alliance– because drug policy in this country is (in technical terms) ABSOLUTELY F***ING NUTS. And because they support "alternatives to the drug war that are grounded in science, compassion, health and human rights". The drug war is JUST PLAIN STUPID. Science, compassion, health and human rights are JUST PLAIN GOOD. Also, I worked in the field of drug research and AIDS research for a decade, and that sort of connection makes me want to give here.
Mother Jones – Free, fearless journalism. Mother Jones gets my vote for best magazine in America. They take on the right wing and the Republicans (same thing, these days) and, on justifiable occasions, the Democrats as well. They are available on the web (free) but if you can, you should really subscribe. We complain about the awful state of the media. Support Mother Jones, which is an exception to that rule.
Planned Parenthood (various states, for now, Kansas and Missouri) – because parenthood should be planned. And Kansas and Missouri especially because cases there are headed up the road, and because it is a state where we can win. I will also give to my local PP (which is New York).
Math Circle – because I just love math, and the Kaplans teach it better than anyone I've ever seen. Because they teach The Joy of Participatory Learning. They teach more than math: They teach kids that coupling their imagination to their reason lets them accomplish amazing things. And that's a lesson for life, whether the kid pursues math or anything else.
So that's one way to honor my dad's legacy.
But there is more I can do, and I am searching for what that is. I am almost 52 years old. I have good genes (both parents lived well into their 80s, as did one grandparent; two other grandparents died at 79, back when that was old) and I hope to live a long time. What to do with the next decades? How to best make use of my skills? I'm not sure. I'm thinking about it. To honor dad.
And there is one more way to honor dad. One I hope I am already doing. And that is to be as free of prejudice as I can be. Because one lesson of my dad - one of the ones he regarded as most important - is that it shouldn't matter who your parents are, or where your ancestors came from, or what color your skin is, or who you love, or whether you're male. That's one lesson I got early - from him, from my mom, or maybe just innately. Judging people for those reasons is wrong. It's wrong in a pernicious way that poisons everything. It's wrong because it divides the world into us and them. There is no them.