For Claude
I accomplished something quite seminal today - I changed a doorknob! This was an alarming project to contemplate, as doorknobs not only don't come with instructions, but also they come with things like not only five separate parts, but three separate pairs of screws of different sizes. That's enough to put off any repairophobe.
These are brass front door doorknobs with one side keyed and the other side with the turning tab lock. I was very proud when my initial installation went very quickly and appeared successful, other than the fact that the latch didn't slide properly into the striker plate without my turning the handle, and on the other hand would slide right back out of the striker plate when pushed from outside. It seemed unlikely that I was at fault here, having done such a splendid job working out how the doorknob rods fit through the latch mechanism, how one had to depress the latch to open the space for the rods to pass through. And so quickly!
I spent awhile chiseling extraneous wood out of the aperture of the striker plate (I think that's what it's called; the plate on the doorframe that the latch slips into), figuring this was probably somebody else's fault. That didn't work, though doing so also made me feel proud, as the aperture looked much nicer and cleaner now.
I then decided that the plate that goes around the latch was on slightly crooked, thus keeping the latch from properly engaging with the striker plate, since clearly this small failure could not possibly be a result of any error I had made myself. Some fool who did the original installation doubtless had done a sloppy chiseling job and left me with improperly drilled screw holes and it was all going to be impossible to fix without a lot of wood putty and heaven knows what else other bother.
However, the door still stayed latched as long as it wasn't pushed, and that was a big improvement on the previous situation, which involved a broken latch and duct tape and plastic tabs and much concern on my part that the latch would get through the duct tape, melting as it was in this weather, and I would be locked out, since I don't have a key to the lock on the other door to the house.
Several hours later, drawn back to the scene of the crime, I had an insight. I'd put the latch in upside down! (I knew something was upside down; I'm very intuitive).
This, too, was very exciting. I think by now I'd taken the latch cover plate off twice, the doorknob off twice, and the striker plate off once. I was only too happy to yet again take off the doorknob and the latch cover plate and fix problem A.
I tried it. Worked perfectly! In fact, probably works a little better since I fine-tuned the chisel job inside the striker plate.
Next problem was that the latch cover (that little plate that screws in around the latch mechanism, on the edge of the door), which fit fine when the latch was upside down, now did not set properly around it into the area chiseled for it. I looked at this and thought "This is cosmetic, isn't it? This isn't really necessary, isn't really functional, this little brass plate? I can probably get along just fine without this little brass plate, no?"
Then I went away again for awhile, and later returned with a milk crate, upon which I sat to examine this latch cover plate and the latch mechanism.
The latch cover plate had holes in it with edges pushed inwards, and those edges were getting in the way of the latch cover plate being flush with the door edge. I thought for awhile that maybe I had the entire thing on upside down; doorknob, latch, striker plate, and would have to again remove it all in order for it to conform to the latch cover plate.
But no. The striker plate was on right. That, I could work out at this point. (At this point I actually went and looked at another doorknob on another door, but I have no faith that anyone who has done anything to any of these houses has ever done it correctly.) Striker plates always are on that way, with the curvy bit inside. (I think.)
My next move will demonstrate my newly found confidence and even hubris as Ms Home Repair. I pressed the latch cover plate firmly into the recessed area around the latch, pressed it down as hard as I could all around, getting it set best as I could manage - and then went and got a hammer and gently tapped it until it was flush. Replaced screws. Worked perfectly.
I immediately wanted to go out and buy brass doorknobs until I ran out of doors...the other door with the failing doorknob, two more that I don't have keys to, and even the interior door that I took down because the doorknob failed and then the hinges (I can do hinges, but I was angry at the door because it locked me out and I had to chisel my way into the other room).
Maybe next week. It's good to have a project.