WHITE HOUSE CABINET ROOM, 11 AM EDT, JULY 23 2011
Gathered in the room are John Boehner(R), Speaker of the House; Eric Cantor(R), House Majority Leader; Mitch McConnell (R), Senate Minority Leader; Nancy Pelosi (D), House Minority Leader and Harry Reid (D), Senate Majority Leader.
Into the room strolls President Barack Obama (D). He stops to say hello to Nancy and Harry, members of his party and staunch supporters. Then he turns his gaze to Boehner...
Follow below the squiggly thing for the fun...
Good morning John. Let me start by saying that if you EVER, I SAY EVER, refuse to return my call again I will make it my personal lot in life to make it impossible for you to ever play another round of golf. I will deploy so damn many obstacles that you won't be able to get near a putt-putt in downtown Gardena California. You'll die with your putter in hand in front of a boob tube at the old orange folks home trying to remember what it is. Got that you overstuffed pissant?
Eric I'm so sorry I upset you so much that you left our meetings a few weeks ago. And I really was out of line by talking to you that way a few days later. What I really should have done is gone with the flow and SNATCHED you by your scrawny assed neck, dragged you outside in front of God and everybody and DUNKED your arrogant, know nothing, punk ass through the hoop!
Well hey, it's the turtle! Mitch my brother! How you doin'? Let's talk, ok? Since the day I took office all you have done is threaten to make me a one term President. Clearly you weren't happy that I took your toy away...and like a little child you've thrown a tantrum for over 2 and a half years. Well turtle boy I've got news for you...I'm going to beat the crap out of whoever your fellow whiners pick to run. Then, when I'm back in here in early 2013 I'm going to have one hell of a party. For the next four years I'll make it a point to show the diversity of this great country by inviting everyone you hate to the White House. You think Common was bad? Wait till I get done! And guess what? I won't care if you try to stall everything I do... because after this week repugs won't be able to get elected dog catcher!
Now let's fix this debt ceiling thing. Oh, and folks? Be prepared to disappoint your fellow reps and senators...we're going to do this MY way, the RIGHT way! Got it?
WELL, I CAN DREAM, RIGHT?