Four years ago we were in the closing months of my Mother-in-law's life. She was starting her final downturn, and had a series of transient ischemic attacks. On October 1, 2007 I posted a piece titled "Another day, another T.I.A.". Here's an excerpt from that:
So, we wait. For either another T.I.A., or a full-fledged stroke. And we try to make her days as comfortable and enjoyable as we can, within the constraints of our own exhaustion and need to pace ourselves for what could yet be a long haul.
And in the meantime, tomorrow is our 20th wedding anniversary. For the most part, observation of same is postponed until later by tacit agreement between my wife and I, though we will make a favorite meal and bake a cake. We have one another, the details will sort themselves out later.
The details did sort themselves out, and today we celebrate 24 years of marriage. Looking back, I'm glad we were able to make it through those difficult years, and do not regret having to defer the traditional celebrations in order to care for Martha Sr. Caring for her was what was important at the time, though of course it also was disappointing to miss some celebrations and family events.
So, what special occasions have you needed to miss or observe later because of your care-giving? Did others understand? Do you resent having to do so?
Jim Downey
(Cross posted to the HFY blog.)
CareGiving Kos is a community diary series posted generally on Sunday morning and Wednesday evening by volunteer diarists. This group & series is for those who are now (or have been) in the role of being a care-giver for a loved one. We want this space to be supportive and free of squabbles. Our only rule is to be kind to yourself and others who are going through a very difficult time. Please respect the concept of this group: No Politics Here.1
1 By "no politics" we don't mean "avoid politics completely" - it's too relevant, at times, to portions of the topics discussed. But keep any references to politics focused and within the context of the caregiving topic. Avoid flames, flaming, flame-wars and dragging the discussion off-topic. Thank you.