"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."
--Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I AM SO PISSED OFF ABOUT THE QUOTE OBAMA ECONOMY UNQUOTE AND ALL THE BULLSHIT I JUST HAVE TO RANT:
Time and money were both invented by man, not Nature, and have caused most of the problems in the history of the world. They do not exist yet they enslave us. Fascinating, isn’t it?
It costs the US Mint three cents to make a penny and seven cents to make a nickel. I’m working on my Bucket List right now, learning Mandarin, study Greek news, and hoping I don’t turn on the TV and see the Chinese Premier cut America’s credit card up.
We're 14.4 trillion dollars in debt. Nobody knows what that means. Let me lay it out very simply: it's a "1", a "4", another "4", AND A FUCKLOAD OF ZEROES. A fuckload of zeroes and commas. And it doesn’t even matter--it’s meaningless.
We owe Russia money. We owe Korea money. We owe IRAN money. They’re not trying to nuke us, they’re trying to send us a collection letter by missile.
We owe MEXICO money. They’re going to build a fence to keep US out. (Written during 1988 recession)
Budweiser is owned by a Belgian company, the New York Stock Exchange is owned by Australian Rupert Murdoch, and the Chinese are now in talks to buy the Los Angeles Dodgers. Apparently America is having a yard sale and they didn't tell us.
ANN COULTER BEFORE THE OCCUPY WALL STREET STATEMENT AFTER SEEING TWO PROTESTERS INTERVIEWED FOR TWO SECONDWS: "All of those quotes could have been said in 1789 France, or the Russian Revolution, or with only slight modification, when the Nazis were coming to power." NO YOU DID NOT PLAY THE HITLER CARD! YOU DID NOT DROP THE H-BOMB! Yeah, I remember Hitler's peaceful sit-ins. You owe Glenn Beck fifty dollars in royalties, bitch.
An economist on the news said "The stock market is bi-polar. When's she's manic, she buys everything. And when she's depressed, she's really down." Great. Our economy is my ex-wife. Our economy needs Prozac and Abilify. And Lithium. Luckily for me, years ago I put all my money into spending it immediately, so I didn't lose anything on the stock market.
And I am REALLY pissed off about THIS: A new study says children are receiving 40% less money now than in years past from their parents for an old childhood tradition. Yes, the economy is now so bad we've cut made drastic cuts to the fucking TOOTH FAIRY. Kids need that dollar--of course, my mother put coupons under my pillow. But I'm not bitter.
I get paid for commercial voiceovers (I'm the voice of the Charmin Bear Father) by a company called “Talent Partners”. When the economic meltdown started, the B of A manager came over and said, “Is that a brokerage firm?” So for the first time in my life someone was tellng me show business IS MORE OF A SURE THING THAN THE STOCK MARKET.
You think you feel bad about being broke and under-worked in this double-dip recession from Hell? I had to read that the Kardashian sisters made SIXTY-FIVE MILLION DOLLARS LAST YEAR. And they don't actually DO anything. They don't do shit.
What the Teabaggers and Michele Bachmann cannot understand is: Money only works when EVERYONE BELIEVES IT IS WORTH SOMETHING. If we just THINK the dollar is going to go down, it will make it go down. If you are a conspiracy nut, you already know all the coded messages on the dollar bill--I do. I know how to change George Washington into a psychedlic mushroom. But the most sinisterhidden message is the number “1”, as if that piece of paper was still worth a friggin' dollar.
My bank (for a couple more weeks), Bank of America, is now charging a five-dollar "swipe fee" for your debit card, "swipe" being the operative word. I was trying to think of a punch line to "What's the difference between an ATM and a hooker?", like "At least hookers close every once in awhile", but that would be an insult to prostitutes, who at least give you something for your money.
A Chinese credit rating house has announced that the U.S. is already defaulting on its debt. Somebody better do something sane before we have to send our children to work in their factories. We don't want to get them mad at us. There are 1.3 billion of them. They can all jump up and down once at the same time and we would fly off the face of the Earth. I know--I've seen them practicing at parades.
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That’s why I support Occupy Wall Street and San Francisco’s “Foreclose on the Banks”. We don’t need violent revolution in America. We don’t even need revolution: we take all our money away from banks that fucked us and we stop buying shit from corporations we don’t like, and when they lose a dollar they will freak the hell out and do what we want, not because we are right, not because we are American, but God damn it, because we are CONSUMERS.
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