When in the course of the Third Age it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political and economic bonds that bind them, a decent respect to the opinions of The Peoples of Middle Earth require that they should declare the causes which impel them to this separation.
We the Orcs of Mordor have hereby gathered, as is our right under Eru, to demand a redress of grievances that have arisen through the continual betrayal of the People by their government. We work solely in solidarity with the international Occupy movement that began (tragically) with #Occupy Valinor by the Numenorians in the year 3319 of the Second Age, continuing through the Third Age and most recently manifesting itself (gloriously) in #Occupy Lonely Mountain just a few years ago.
For thousands of years the Orcs of Morder lived in harmony with the land, gradually improving their lot on this Middle-Earth. But in these last years, dark powers and trolls have usurped our wealth, growing rich off our labor while we suffer the lash. The legitimate government of Mordor has allowed itself to be covertly replaced by a "shadow government" comprised of 'An Eye' and 'Nine Mortal Men', none of whom were elected.
Whereas
The government has allowed itself, in its quest for War, to be purchased by troll corporations and has allowed economic power to dictate its policies;
Whereas
The government has betrayed the trust of the People by allowing itself to be corrupted by corporate trolls at the expense of the common good;
Whereas
The government has misled those who have chosen to dedicate their lives to the defense of Mordor, claiming that Men and Elves are the enemy, when indeed it is the troll one percent who have sucked the orcblood out of our country;
Whereas
The government, with its never-ending so-called 'War of Terror', has denuded the country; where once were fruitful plains now are slag heaps;
Whereas
The government
a. Has denied us health care when we are wounded.
b. Has provided us with no education other than in the firing of poorly constructed bows.
c. Has denied us the right to organize slave unions.
Therefore we, the Orcs of Mordor, declare:
We have labored in the Shadow too long.
We have been duped and enslaved.
We have died too many deaths.
And so we Proclaim to All of Middle Earth:
We are legion.
We have #Occupied Barad-dûr.
We Will re-#Occupy all of Mordor.
We Will Not Be Moved.
We are the 99%
p.s. Give our regard to Broadway (at 14th Street, In Oakland)
Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul,
Ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
3:28 PM PT: OccupyProvidence needs help! Riders of Rohan Arise!
10:15 PM PT: Occupy Oakland Reconstitutes: The General Strike is On!