Do you feel left out of the latest media buzz surrounding the Occupy Wall Street protests? Are you fed up with trying to understand grass roots politics? Are you seething about the Tea Party peaking way too soon? NetTastic Consultants has the solution for you. We are the only campaign consultants who specialize in connecting you to the current trends on what the young call "social media". Read on to learn more about how your campaign can be launched right in to the 21st century by acquiring one of our new media packages.
U R (You Are) There Package
We'll use digital manipulation to unleash the power of the net and create your own personal cyber-doppelganger! Your cyberself will appear to be attending any one of dozens of Occupy Wall Street protests around the country. We will provide you with 20 high resolution, full color digital images "from" the Occupy location of your choice, which you can use in your campaign literature if the Occupy fad continues into next year. Our most economical package, U R There is value-priced at $10,000 until January 1, 2012.
Boots On The Ground Package
Already have a campaign t-shirt with your name prominently displayed? Have we got a deal for you! We will hire four out of work actors to attend either the Occupy Wall Street or Occupy Los Angeles protest (your choice) and spend two hours getting in to the background of as many media interviews as possible while wearing your t-shirt. Special priority will be given to FOX News and CNN crews should they be present. If questioned themselves while cameras are rolling, actors will be instructed to say "I'm the 99% and I'm voting for (your name)" and nothing else. Since we will be specifically hiring out of work actors, buying this package includes a unique bonus. It will allow you to proudly say "Yes, I am a job creator." if the question comes up at a future debate and you have formerly had to sidestep it. We think you will agree that $130,000 is a bargain for this media savvy package.
U R (You Are) The 99% Package
Have you heard about the "mic check"? That's what the protesters at Occupy Wall Street call it when they repeat what a public speaker is saying in little chunks as they speak. You may have heard it on the net and wondered what all that echoing was about. They see it as a way for everyone to be involved and are very proud of inventing it. Can you imagine what it would sound like if you yourself were that public speaker and your latest stump speech was being "mic checked" by hundreds of people? Well imagine no more. We have access to a cutting edge sound studio and the voice talent required to create an audio recording that duplicates the famous "mic check". Hundreds of voices will seem to be echoing your every word. Your radio spots will become the envy of all the other candidates. Our premier U R The 99% Package can be yours for $250,000.