This is my second diary. In my first one I mentioned my financial success, by way of background, to establish my credentials to make observations about the 99% and 1% from personal experience. I think some readers must have assumed that because of that financial success the life I have led has been a relatively easy one. I'll let you judge the accuracy of that assumption.
The purpose of this diary is to suggest a focus for progressive attention during the 2012 election. Now is as good a time as any to debate strategy, and I'd like to put forward the idea that progressive groups coalesce around healthcare as the key issue for 2012. This is probably controversial, but at one level I'd argue that we have no choice as Republicans have positioned themselves as intending to dismantle it.
Unlike my last diary, this is a very personal one. I still want to make one big picture point, and once again use my personal story to illustrate it. The point is this - our health system was completely broken by 2008, and "Obamacare" while an option only a 1960's Republican could love, took a large step in the right direction in fixing the problems in our system. We can argue about how large a step, granted, but I would argue that if we simply reach a national consensus that an American at birth has a right to good health care then we will in the long run have a much better health system.
Unlike my last diary, this is a very personal one. I still want to make one big picture point, and once again use my personal story to illustrate it. The point is this - our health system was completely broken by 2008, and "Obamacare" while an option only a 1960's Republican could love, took a large step in the right direction in fixing the problems in our system. We can argue about how large a step, granted, but I would argue that if we simply reach a national consensus that an American at birth has a right to good health care then we will in the long run have a much better health system.
Why focus on this, when the immediate priority is the economy? Isn't this exactly what Obama did wrong in 2009 when the economy was falling off a cliff? For the same reason that Roosevelt started social security during the depression - because it made a statement about the country's commitment to its vulnerable citizens even as it struggled with unprecedented economic weakness. Because it offered a brighter future than the ones that people could clearly see that life offered them. That's what I want to see in my government - putting forth a vision for the country that articulates our values even if we fall short in the reality of the execution at any given time. It did take years to get to the moon.
The problem is that big step in the right direction is not in cement. Republicans are quite serious in their desire to see Obamacare defeated. We are fighting for an ideal - that there is an obligation placed upon the government to maintain the health of its populace. We are not fighting for a program, or policies, or a mandate - those are just tools, some really bad, to try and meet the obligation. And to meet that obligation, on paper, when dealing in the reality of a political environment. We need to be as serious about defining and defending that ideal as our opponents are at undermining it.
If I were some cog in the machine, I guess I would say we should just all lay back and enjoy the sound of the MRI machine (just been there, don't need to go back) and live with the Healthcare Hamburger that came out of Congress. However, given my intimate and strained relationship with the traditional health industry, I'm more inclined to suggest insurrection. Not for me, but for my children, so that their lives will be nothing like mine. But insurrection done smartly, targeted - lets fight for the right for health care. After the election, let's fix that mess Congress passed.
So, about me. By the age of 40, I had already had, on average, 2 major depressive episodes and several hypo-manias per year, every year since puberty, plus several psychotic breaks sprinkled around constant PTSD-induced anxiety. Those words seem so simple to write. They were not easy to survive. In 1997 I had a major manic episode, and after seven days with less than 10 hours of sleep I sought treatment for the first time.
Although kept ignorant by my family, my condition did not appear spontaneously on the family tree. Belated research turned up a maternal grandmother and paternal aunt hospitalized for years and a paternal uncle who committed suicide. I got both X and Y gene barrels. So have my 3 children. Throw in a dysfunctional nuclear family and you get a better picture.
Its probably fair to say that an untreated or poorly treated bipolar person with serious anxiety issues is very difficult to deal with, and I have left a trail of personal relationships that I am not proud of. I have not been the best father, and have a couple of failed marriages to speak to the difficultly of presenting a constant persona with so much emotional flux. These are heavy psychic burdens I will always bear.
Like many seriously mentally ill people, I went though a series of medications, each with their own set of effects and side effects that differed by patient and thus made the supposed scientific application of drugs much more of an art practiced to greater or lesser degree by a psychiatrist. First I tried Depakote. But with little experience with these classes of drugs i was unprepared, although warned, about weight gain as a side effect. Six months and 30 pounds later I pulled the plug on Depakote. Turns out seriously mentally ill people in this country die on average at 50, 25 years earlier than the average American, and the primary reason is cardiovascular disease. And the primary side effect of psychotropic medications is excessive weight gain. 1 + 1 = ?. It also never had any positive effect on my depression, although I wasn't manic while on it. I eventually settled on Neurontin for several years. In retrospect, I doubt it had any affect on my illness, although it appears to have had no side effects.
My life is always a balance by getting just enough effect with the least amount of side effects of the several grams of medication in 9 pills I take each day. I literally am prescribed one drug for the side effects of three drugs that I am directed to take for the side effects of my two primary psychotropic drugs. I don't need to be mentally ill to know that's insane. I get my blood drawn about every other month as the ill effects of these drugs can come on with no warning and have life long and life threatening effects. More for another diary, but my second oldest son lost significant kidney function and stopped growing through puberty because of a bad reaction to Lithium that was not properly monitored by his psychiatrist. Ooops??
I went through a couple of psychiatrists and several medications before spiraling out of control and ending up hospitalized in 2008. There I was placed on the atypical antipsychotic rispiridone, which had become a treatment of choice for acute mania. It cured the mania alright. Then it took me down further. Then further. Eventually I lived with a complete sense of apathy. Apathy to the extent that I lost 2 years barely leaving the house. Barely moving. My psychiatrist was convinced I had had a serious breakdown and was trying psychotherapy to "cure" me. Only the sharp observation of my new psychiatrist and a three month period of cleansing brought back my normal level of energy and interests.
Then a real miracle happened. For the first time since puberty, I have found a way to live without depression and mini manias for over 18 months. The solution for me has involved some traditional approaches (1500 milligrams of Depakote - ironically a huge dosage that I've learned to live with, 300 milligrams of Seroquel, whose side effects for me include uncontrolled heart rhythms if I'm at the recommended dosage of 600 milligrams, and about 300 or so milligrams of medicinal marijuana, like over 50% of bipolar people I self medicate with mmj.
Here's where my personal story becomes a diary. I needed government healthcare, as ludicrous as it sounds for someone who has money to suggest he needs government help. But look at my situation. I'm uninsurable. My whole family is uninsurable. They are subject to possible large future bills -so to be responsible I need to self insure by holding large sums of money in unproductive assets to cover the possibility that I or a dependent is going to need health care. As soon as this burden was lifted with the introduction of the High Risk Insurance pool as part of Obamacare, I was able to invest the money in real job creating small businesses. There are ten real people, and nine families, who have good paying jobs right now, because I am no longer in fear for my family's health. And I will gladly pay for my employees' health insurance once the company is on its feet. It's the American thing to do.