Another debate tonight, another opportunity to learn. Here are some questions I'd like to see addressed…
Newt Gingrich
Newt, when you recently were admonished for your adulterous behavior, you countered by saying that you were now a 68-year old grandfather, as though that either excuses your past or implies that it could never happen again. Two days later you vowed to never cheat on your trophy wife. My question is twofold: 1.) At what age does a man of your size become 'too big to fail' a marriage? and 2.) Is your current trophy wife also taking that vow or will she remain free range?
Michele Bachmann
Michele, Republican President Gerry Ford introduced his WIN campaign which meant 'Whip Inflation Now' but he fell on his face. Republican Candidate Herman Cain introduced his Nine Nine Nine campaign but he fell on his face. You have now introduced your Win Win Win campaign. So, will you be wearing a helmet?
Herman Cain
Herman, if you're listening, which did you prefer: New Koch or Koch Classic?
Rick Santorum
Rick, you have said numerous times that a person's sexuality is a matter of choice, that a person decides his or her own sexual preference. So my question to you is, when did you have sexual relations with male partners in order to choose heterosexuality? Who were your male sex partners, what was it like, do you stay in touch, and is your choice final?
Jon Huntsman
Jon, the saying 'nice guys finish last' is becoming more apt every week regarding your candidacy. Have you considered maybe just cussing out the other candidates in, say, Mandarin?
Rick Perry
Rick, you said there were three agencies of government that would be gone in your administration: Commerce, Education, and OOPS. Were you referring to the Office Of Political Suicide? Because that's how it sounded.
Mitt Romney
Mitt, you served as CEO of the Organizing Committee at the Salt Lake 2002 Winter Olympics. Four years earlier, at Nagano 1998, Frenchman Jean-Luc Cretier set the world record for the Downhill, exceeding 66 mph. Your own political performance went downhill this past month at a remarkable speed. Are you attempting a new record?
Ron Paul
Ron, are you going buy a new suit for your debates with President Obama? Or just go with what you have?