13 months ago I participated in a recount for our DA. In Maine, DA's cover one or two counties and the vote was close (under 100 votes). A recount is an ordeal. You count stacks of votes (50 to a pile), change piles with a volunteer for the other campaign and so on for a day or TWO. It's awful, I'd rather watch grass grow. However, there is opportunity to talk and my fellow counter and I talked most of the day. Not just politics but life, family, etc. Clearly there were huge differences in our political outlooks but both of us were making an effort to find common ground and not make the day a total disaster. In fact, we got along so well we traded phone numbers and agreed to have breakfast 'Sometime'.
That sometime has turned into a regular breakfast meeting every 3-4 weeks, for the past year. I've learned a lot...follow along for a little more and a sample meeting.
Let me describe my friend a little bit. I'd say he's a combination of conservative Republican, libertarian and a dash of tea party. Even tho he listens talk radio he still has a somewhat open mind and is willing to consider other opinions. He doesn't watch TV, doesn't spend a lot of time on the internet, reads a bunch and is clearly fed up with politicians and officeholders, big government, over regulated society, etc.
We have made an unspoken agreement NOT to use email to send articles, etc back and forth but to either bring items to our mtgs or just save it for conversation. I think this is an important part of this process of keeping it on more of a friendship basis than score points back and forth. Our breakfast mtgs last 90-120 mins and I'm always surprised at how fast time flies.
What do we talk about...pretty much cover the waterfront of current politics, state issues, congressional issues, society and family stuff (trials and tribulations not just the good stuff). His step son is a disaster, my nephew who is living with us for a year is lazy, etc.
We don't agree on too much but we agree we can find common ground. For instance, he's willing to tax the rich more (even though he thinks they're already paying Too Much!!!) and I'm willing to cut some regulations and bureaucracy (the redundant stuff anyway). At our recent meeting we discussed:
Efficiency standards for lightbulbs. He was for gov't not telling people what lightbulb to buy. I said it was a bill Bush signed that said lightbulbs had to be 25% more efficient by X date and didn't tell manufacturers which bulbs to make. I was for more efficiency and Asian and Europe all use CFL's and we settled on increasing education at point of purchase.
Banning all cell phone use in cars, hands free or not. We both agreed that as long as kids were not allowed in cars, radios and all conversation banned with passengers that would be ok. In other words, we think hands free cell phones are fine.
Christmas: He's kinda bah humbug about it all, I like the fun. We're both way past the commercialization but I do like Xmas lights. I've transitioned to all LED lights and he likes those too...we agree!
DHHS budget issues here in Maine. Agreed reform is needed but I wouldn't budge off of the need to rescind the tax cut ($120 million) before cuts get made. This led to broader discussion of tax rates which led to a place we could agree...get the $$$$ out of politics and shorten the campaign season. He was undecided on corporations and their influence on elections. He still thinks rich people should be able to do what they want because it's their money but at the same time he's conflicted by the influence that money has on officeholders.
General agreement the Republican field is weak and there's no one he really supports. I get the sense he's a little embarrassed by the lack of depth. He thinks Newt is smart but agreed he's all over the map and tends to be a bomb thrower but he also thinks bomb throwing is sometimes needed to shake things up. He won't vote for President Obama (but I still have 10 months to go!) but I doubt it. What's important is building a genuine relationship.
My thinking here is it's a really good idea to find someone we can like as a human being and have breakfast pretty often. Maybe it's someone from work, from the neighborhood, from the gym but they're around. I think the unsaid guidelines we have about not emailing back and forth works to keep the conversation fresh and the fact we respect each other's opinion (even with the occasional 'Really' or 'What' a la Barbara Walters)
Do you have a friend you do something like this with? What does it look like, what do you talk about? If this diary prompts even one person to reach out that would be awesome. Thank You.