OWS has garnered great strength over the past few months, spreading across the country from its beginnings in NYC to the world. Of course the spirit of OWS certainly itself was inspired by people around the world, including the Arab Spring that took on and continues to take on ruthless regimes in the Middle East with varying degress of success. Its no wonder people around the world have an opinion.
Political pundits, athletes, politicians, entertainers - a host of people have commented on OWS and what it means. So its no surprise that one of the worlds foremost religious thinkers would have a lot to say about what OWS is and where its going. Brace yourself people, Jesus is walking through that door (as interpreted by noted scholar Tony Perkins) and is about to preach the gospel. Jesus, the first and latest CEO Savior!
http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/...
As Jesus spokesman Tony Perkins notes -
"He called his ten servants, and gave to them ten minas, one mina each (a mina today would be worth around $225), and he then told them to 'Occupy till I come.' " (Luke 19:13, King James Version)
(Obviously Perkins is reading from his Ancient Hebrew monetary conversion chart).
Perkins deftly notes that Jesus in this section is described as a "ruler." "King" Jesus
would have to leave for a while as he traveled to a faraway place to receive authority to reign over the kingdom. In his absence, the disciples – depicted as servants – were to "occupy" until he returned.
I at first interpreted "faraway place" to mean Heaven or perhaps the desert; on a deeper soul searching I now understand it to mean the Federal Reserve. Which is of course is pretty far from Jerusalem, especially without a car, train or plane. But I digress. The point is Jesus gave 10 servants a bunch of money to go "Occupy til I come."
Also in this section Jesus clearly instructs his followers to believe in the free market and work diligently as hedge fund managers. What? You didn't get that from that passage! Well allow noted disciple of God Perkins to show you the light -
The fact that Jesus chose the free market system as the basis for this parable should not be overlooked. When the nobleman returns, after being established as king – a stand-in for Jesus – he calls all his servants together to see what they had accomplished in his absence.
The first servant reports a nice profit: 10 minas. While the story lacks specifics on whether he invested the money in a herd of sheep or a hedge fund, we do know that he made his gain by engaging in business transactions of some sort. He used a free market system to bring a tenfold return on investment. No doubt such a return took a lot of diligent, dedicated effort.
No doubt! Just like the effort it takes our noble CEOs to make 100 times more money than their workers. Glorious. Why should Jesus or the CEO of Goldman Sachs not be entitled to a reasonable ROI? And its clear that the worldwide complicated financial markets have much in common with the agriculture based economy of ancient Judea. Hello people, its in the Bible!
And let me tell you something else that must have got lost in the translation from Jesus' mouth to Perkins pen - I bet Jesus didn't play no darn taxes either! No way he is letting Caesar get a cut of those profits. How is Jesus going to create jobs with the Roman Senate breathing down his neck!
But again, I digress. Because todays bible lesson isn't over. Jesus, like the good people in Wall St., knows how to deal with a lazy, unruly worker.
When called to give an account of what he had accomplished, the man immediately attempts to shift the focus off his failure with excuses of how unfair the boss was because he was always trying to get more than he deserved for his money.
The employee review is immediate and intense: "Out of your own mouth will I judge you, you wicked servant." The king's disappointment and frustration are nearly palpable. "Why didn't you at least put the money in the bank and draw interest?" the king inquires.
While such language might prompt an HR complaint today, its meaning was quite clear to the disciples. There are no excuses for doing nothing.
Jesus, spiritual leader, King of all men, stern employer. Praise thy name! It is a bit odd that Jesus would look at a spiritual follower like an employee but I can understand why an employee would look at a free-market king, I mean employer, as a Jesus type figure. I mean, check out that suit!
Jesus than decides on the only fit punishment for the lazy worker, the one who expects for the hardwork of CEO Jesus to shelter him from trouble: Austerity.
Parables generally have a twist near the end, a final jolt to drive the point home. This one is no exception. The ruler orders that the capital, or opportunity, given to the lazy servant be taken from him and given to the most productive servant. "To everyone who has, more shall be given," the Bible reads, "but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away."
Well at least he didn't fire the guy. Jesus was Ronald Reagan, before Ronald Reagan was popular. Jesus supports austerity. Jesus is Wall St. and Wall St. is Jesus. Special thank you to Jesus, CNN and Tony Perkins for spreading the Word. Word.