Between James O'Keefe's ACORN video which turned out to be a lie, James O'Keefe's New Jersey teachers union video which turned out to be a lie, James O'Keefe's Census video which turned out to be meaningless, James O'Keefe's buddy's Planned Parenthood video which turned out to be a lie, and James O'Keefe's NPR video which is in the process of turning out to be a lie, I couldn't help but notice a certain pattern in James O'Keefe's releases. Beyond the whole, y'know, endless lying thing, there's a certain formula that seems to repeat itself.
What follows is a vague, admittedly imperfect approximation of the life of a James O'Keefe release in the modern political era; you can call it a Mad Libs. Hopefully, bringing this pattern to light will prevent O'Keefe from getting undeserved credibility in the future.
By the way, the double-meaning of "Mad Libs" when discussing James O'Keefe didn't hit me until I started this...but hey, it kinda works.
Day 1
[James O'Keefe and/or associate thereof] releases a new, heavily edited video, detailing [vaguely shady dealings] with [organization Republicans hate (abbreviated ORH)]. By masquerading as [member of societal group Republicans find scary/evil/immoral], he agreed to get [low/middle level official] of [ORH] to do/say [something 'bad']. Here's the money quote:
[Disguised Conservactivist]: I am a [member of societal group Republicans find scary/evil/immoral] and I want [something from/something to do with ORH].
[Low/Middle Level Official]: [Okayness with the aforementioned group]
[Disguised Conservactivist]: [Leading question]
[Low/Middle Level Official]: ["Bad" answer]
[Disguised Conservactivist]: [Pushes the "bad"ness]
[Low/Middle Level Official]: ["Worse" answer]
Day 1.5
A "journalist" on Andrew Breitbart's Big [Journalism/Government/Hollywood/Liberalism/Obama/Dentistry/whatever] website releases a "scoop" of the release, noting the controversy:
With all the talk of [Republican pet issue related to aforementioned organization], [fawning sentence about James O'Keefe cracking the story open]. Man, what good timing on his part!
[Low/Middle level official], a high-ranking official of [ORH], said "[further misrepresentation of the "bad" thing person said]".
Clearly, this shows that [unjustified conclusion].
[Filler paragraph about the tea party or something]
Oh, and Obama is a socialist.
The story quickly gets 5000 comments and is catapulted to the top of the teablogosphere.
Day 2
Story quickly reaches NYTimes/WaPo/WSJ/etc, reporting the new controversy involving [ORH] and the [previous misrepresentation of the "bad" thing] scandal. James O'Keefe/equivalent appear on Hannity/equivalent to discuss the "controversy surrounding [misrepresented scandal]". CNN plans a roundtable discussion of the issue with [Tea Party Leader], [disinterested policy wonk], [Blue Dog Democrat] and Erick Erickson. MSNBC's [random pundit] notes [O'Keefe or equivalent]'s past indiscretions in a minor segment.
[Republican astroturf group (RAG)] have similarly called for a mass protest/boycott/defunding/angry-finger-wagging of [ORH] tomorrow. Full coverage is planned from all major news networks.
Day 3
[ORH] sends out a press release announcing the dismissal of [low/middle level official] and also [needlessly implicated higher level official], saying that "the [misrepresented "bad" thing] does not fit with the standards/practices/laws of [ORH]. Therefore they are resigning so as to hopefully stop the bad PR uphold our integrity. An internal investigation is also underway to prevent future ["bad" things that didn't actually happen] from happening."
Estimates of the [RAG] protest/boycott/defunding/angry-finger-wagging range from 200-1,700,000 activists, depending on the source.
Day 4
Responding to the reported massive protests, the [relevant House Committee] has introduced legislation to defund [ORH]. Paul Ryan/Mike Pence/Peter King/Michele Bachmann say that this legislation is good for Our Massive Budget Deficit/Moral Fabric of Our Society/America's Safety/some incomprehensible reason (respectively). Darrell Issa states he is considering a hearing on [misrepresented issue], then walks it back, then schedules the hearing anyway.
Day 5
The "[some combo of the words "restore", "jobs", "America(n)", "safety", "strength[en]" "values"] and Defund [ORH] Act" swiftly moves through the Republican House/slightly less swiftly moves through the Democratic House, with a large amount of/all of the Blue Dogs joining with the Republicans. A bipartisan coalition of ["moderate" Republican like Lindsey Graham]/["moderate" Democrat like Ben Nelson]/Joe Lieberman assures the press it will pass the Senate.
Regarding the controversy, President Obama states "[something sort of leaning on the side of good but rather uninspiring and vague]". [Left-leaning blog] finds an old video from the 2008 campaign trail where Obama states "I will stand strong with [ORH] and [not do something uninspiring and vague]".
[Lone Progressive Representative] points out the bill is a bill of attainder/doesn't actually fit the right-wing talking points it's supposed to/needless since ORH doesn't receive federal funding/is generally bullshit. Is not reported on.
Day 6
The "Safety America Value Jobs Restore Strengthen and Defund [ORH] Act" passes the Senate on a 60-65 yea, 35-40 nay vote. President Obama signs the legislation, stating "[my hands are tied/let's look forward not backward/whatever]".
[Conservative think-tank] awards James O'Keefe/equivalent the Ronald Reagan/Ronald Reagan Award for Excellence/Honor/Glory in [something].
Day 7 (or perhaps later)
In response to constant pestering by bloggers/a leak from within the organization/a Court order, the full, unedited version of the conversation is released. The full conversation follows:
[1-2 hours of absolutely nothing of interest]
[Disguised Conservactivist]: [Leading statement]
[Low/Middle Level Official]: [appropriate answer]
[Disguised Conservactivist]: [Potentially incriminating question]
[Low/Middle Level Official]: [appropriate answer]
[Disguised Conservactivist]: [Desperately incriminating question, as if begging for something, anything, resembling a scandal]
[Low/Middle Level Official]: [appropriate answer, inquiry into the Conservactivist him/herself]
[Disguised Conservactivist]: I am a [member of a group which shouldn't be in this organization], but [important piece of information which alters this fact], so it should be okay. Oh, and I want [something from/something to do with ORH].
[Low/Middle Level Official]: Well if it wasn't for that second thing this would be really bad! But since you said the second thing, [Okayness with the aforementioned group]
[Disguised Conservactivist]: If someone were to ask you [Leading question], what could you NOT say in response?
[Low/Middle Level Official]: Well I WOULD say [something fine], but one thing I couldn't say is ["Bad" answer]. I definitely couldn't say that. I could get in a lot of trouble if I said/did that!
[Disguised Conservactivist]: Man, if the really wanted to get you in trouble, they'd say [Pushes the "bad"ness]!
[Low/Middle Level Official]: [Laughs] Then I could say/do ["Worse" answer]! Man, we'd all be in huge trouble, to the point it could threaten our organization itself, if I were to say/do that! Good thing I never do and never would!
Or, of course, an equivalent conversation.
Day 8-29 (or so)
Noting that the full video is somewhat different in tone and content from the released excerpts, [leading newspaper] prints a slight correction on [a page no one even knows exists, much less reads].
Republicans declare victory over [ORH], thanking the dozens to millions (because who knows) of protesters and the strength of the tea party and American values [and so on].
Democrats, wanting the issue to go away, ignore it.
[Republican blog] believes the defunding was not enough, and that [ORH] still exists in the shadows, continuing to have its [non-existant, misrepresented problem it didn't have in the first place].
[RAG] purchases an ad, NWOTSOTB, for [Lone Progressive Representative] for his support of [ORH].
Daily Kos blogger makes diary, snarky in tone, detailing the process.
Everyone moves on...
Day 30ish
[James O'Keefe and/or associate thereof] releases a new video, detailing [other vaguely shady dealings] with [another organization Republicans hate (AORH)].