Breaking News: Corporate America announced recently that they are tired of pussyfooting around and have decided to fire the United States Government.
They might as well have. And away we go...
Privatization of public institutions and services is no big surprise to anyone anymore. The method is tried and true:
1. Defund public institution.
2. Wait for public institution to fail due to lack of funding.
3. Point out the failure and blame it on more Big Government Waste™.
4. Introduce legislation to "open up competition" and "let markets work for the people" and "other fuzzy buzz phrases that appear to have a patina of sense to them".
5. Consult your Did Any Corporation Remotely Related To The Now-Defunct Public Form Contribute To Your Campaign? flowchart to determine which unaccountable private tyranny will now profit from the public's newest misery.
6. Ta-daa! The local schools must now turn a profit for Satan, Atwater, Rove and Associates, Inc. Now your child can receive the best education that also increases profits for investors this fiscal quarter! Can you even wait for the corporations to start owning the police?
7. Choose another public institution and go to Step 1.
Recently, however, corporate America has lost patience with this method, so they went out and bought legislation that is up in an number of places and has now passed into law in Michigan. Now, the Governor the power to appoint Emergency Financial Managers to oversee districts in any case where the Governor decides there is a "financial emergency" in the district. This legislation gives the EFM godlike powers, and that's not much of an exaggeration.
Those Michigan Republicans are some smart cookies, all right. Passing legislation like that just in case an emergency pops up. And damned if one didn't right away!
Greetings, Benton Harbor. I am Joseph L. Harris, your feudal lord - unaccountable judge, jury, and executioner - unelected tyrant - Emergency Financial Manager. As we all know, financial emergencies - which we define as, heh, well, anything the Governor says it is - are the worst thing that can happen to any people, anywhere, at any point in history. We can't have investors starving to death on mere low double digit profit growth, now can we? Anyway, millionaires were not becoming multimillionaires fast enough for our liking, so my hands are tied. I have no choice but to declare the fundamental principles upon which this country a barrier to profits and therefore null and void.
Also, I am announcing the doctrine of Droit De Seigneur. Fathers, I will require pictures of your daughters for consideration of the applicability of said doctrine as pertains to their level of hotness versus - excuse me, but why are my feet not being rubbed right now?!
Uncle Feudalism is coming to stay. Unless, of course, we decide we're not going to put up with him. I have a feeling - just a feeling, mind - that the state of Michigan is about to make what has been going down in Wisconsin look like Governor Walker Appreciation Month. And that idea makes me smile.