From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Revealed---The Final Moment:
"Good morning, Mr. bin Laden. Here's your tea. And your noodles. And your Terror Mastermind Daily Brief."
"Ah, yes, my TMDB! I don’t even know why I bother reading them anymore. They always say the same thing: 'Trail is cold. Trail is cold. Trail is cold.' Look, it's been ten years…I got away with it. I tell you, this is going to be the last TMDB I ever read. I simply do not need them anymore. Now read me this last one and then we can sit down for a nice game of Boggle."
"Yes, sir. It says…
United States Determined to Strike Inside Bin Laden Compound in 3…2…1…
Smile, Asshole.
"See? The trail is col… Wait, what???"
Gotcha.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, May 2, 2011
Note: Another sign that spring has finally arrived in Maine: the kitty de-winged her first housefly of 2011 yesterday. [Sigh] They grow up and become sadistic predators so fast…
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Memorial Day: 28
Days `til the Sonoma County Freestone Fermentation Festival: 19
Number of U.S. troops who died in Iraq last month: 11
Minimum number of applications McDonald's received to fill the 50,000 positions for which it was hiring: 1,000,000
(Source: USA Today)
Percent of Social Security recipients who now get their monthly payment via direct deposit: 85%
Estimated amount of savings to taxpayers per year when paper Social Security checks are eliminated: $100,000,000
(Source: U.S. Treasury)
Number of U.S. presidents who had adopted kids: 3 (Washington, Jackson, Reagan)
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"Meet Me in Minnesota!"
Brought to you by the Netroots Nation '11 convention in Minneapolis June 16-19:
- Minneapolis has more golfers per capita than any other city in the country.
- Minnesota has 90,000 miles of shoreline, more than California, Florida and Hawaii combined.
- The first practical water skis were invented in 1922 by Ralph W. Samuelson, who steam-bent 2 eight-foot-long pine boards into skies. He took his first ride behind a motorboat on a lake in Lake City.
- Alexander Anderson of Red Wing discovered the processes to puff wheat and rice giving us the indispensable rice cakes.
---From 50States.com
Oh, and congrats to the Round 2 DFA scholarship winners. They've announced a surprise Round 3, and you can apply or vote for your favorite candidates here. Deadline is Thursday night. Good luck!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Saved from the storm…
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CHEERS to May. The month of flowers, Mom's Day, Buddha's birthday, The Chinese Dragon Boat Festival, Victoria Day, Cinco de Something or other, 2011's only Friday the 13th, and President Obama announces the death of Osama bin Laden. Memorial Day kicks off summer. A new Pirates of the Caribbean flick opens in 16 days. Plus: this is the first month of the year we may actually make it through without the furnace kicking in. Oh, and don’t miss the Daily Kos contributing editors as they dance around the Maypole later this morning. Give 'em a wide berth---if one of 'em loses their grip they can take ya down like bowling pins.
P.S. Almost forgot: the world might end in 19 days. Stay tuned to Channel Crazy for updates.
CHEERS, EH to election day in Canada! Oh, it's on, baby. Says The Toronto Star's Tim Harper, whom I've never heard of but I deeply respect because he looks like Peter O'Toole:
It’s a rare moment in this country when you can circle history on the calendar. It happens Monday. Unless every credible pollster is wrong and every final weekend campaign strategy is upside down, there is a political realignment underway, and it congealed in less than two weeks.
The 2011 election has been unique in another way---it holds drama because its outcome is known by no one.
As usual, the campaign season was mercifully short, the debate was civil, the voting system will work efficiently, and the entire thing will have been funded for less than the cost of a few sixpacks of Molson. Kind of like here except completely different.
CHEERS to #32. Fourteen years ago today, a national memorial honoring Franklin D. Roosevelt officially opened in Washington, D.C., making FDR only the 4th president to get such VIP treatment. All Reagan gets is a dumb airport in the 'burbs. And George W. will be lucky if he can convince anyone to name a hickory one-holer at a rest stop after his sorry ass.
JEERS to liftoff denied. Last Friday's launch of the Space Shuttle Endeavor was cancelled, and today was supposed to have offered the next available window. Sorry to say, it's a no go. Next tentative launch date: Sunday the 8th. NASA says it should have redeemed enough empty bottles and cans by then to finish filling the gas tank. Times are tough all over.
CHEERS to putting the silliness behind us. The debate rages anew: should the president and the White House press corps spend a night playing footsies together? After watching Obama's performance Saturday night at the Correspondents' Dinner, I'm leaning yes. It was worth it just to watch Donald Trump's expression morph from mild amusement to simmering rage as he got neatly carved up:
Obama: [A]ll kidding aside, obviously we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience. For example, just recently, in an episode of Celebrity Apprentice, at the steakhouse, the men's cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks. And there was a lot of blame to go around. But you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. And so ultimately, you didn't blame Lil' Jon or Meatloaf. You fired Gary Busey. And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night.
Emcee Seth Meyers was less diplomatic:
"Donald Trump has been saying that he's going to run for president as a Republican---which is surprising, since I just assumed he was running as a joke."
Poor Donald. He cried all the way to the vault holding his overleveraged hedge funds.
CHEERS to tinkerin' with the forces of nature. The Department of Energy's Science Bowl wraps up today with the final matches in Washington, DC. It's billed as the "only science competition in the United States sponsored by a federal agency." Rumor has it Rep. Paul Ryan will be on-hand to show the kids an amazing little experiment of his own: holding up his magic budget and making the Science Bowl disappear.
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Five years ago in C&J: May 2, 2006
JEERS to Big Brotherville, USA. Oh hey, this is a hoot:
The FBI secretly sought information last year on 3,501 U.S. citizens and legal residents from their banks and credit card, telephone and Internet companies without a court's approval, the Justice Department said Friday. It was the first time the Bush administration has publicly disclosed how often it uses the administrative subpoena known as a National Security Letter, which allows the executive branch of government to obtain records about people in terrorism and espionage investigations without a judge's approval or a grand jury subpoena.
You can always spot a National Security Letter. It's got a picture of Ed McMahon proclaiming, "You may be the next WINNER...of a one-way trip to the secret Eastern European gulag of your choice!" (Certain blackout dates apply. Those would be the days we make you walk around with a black hood over your head.)
JEERS and CHEERS to the yin and yang of cable news. Checking the DailyKos recommended diaries this morning we see Filthy CNN Lies and Finally CNN gets it. If Wolf Blitzer stops by his head's gonna `splode.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to "My Friend Ben." That's the apt title of One Pissed Off Liberal's diary tribute to Ben Masel, the activist and beloved Kossack who died Friday of lung cancer. Like many Kossacks, I first met Ben in Chicago at the '07 Yearly Kos convention, and I could tell he was a rare breed: an intelligent rabble-rouser utterly without fear. It takes real guts to get in the face of the police, let alone get arrested over and over, but Ben literally wore his attitude on his sleeve. So, once more, for old time's sake, we post the message emblazoned on his beloved "4th Amendment shirt":
NOTICE TO LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS:
I do not consent to a search of my person, house, papers, effects or motor vehicle. I retain my 4th Amendment rights and all other rights under the United States and State Constitutions.
More on Ben's life from the Wisconsin State Journal here. The money quote: "He wasn't just some pothead," said Sal Serio, a longtime friend. "He respected the constitution. He respected the system. And he fought to make sure others did too." Fare thee well, Ben. As I said in OPOL's diary, "If there is a god, we'll toke again one day."
Oh, and Congress returns to Washington. Ahhhh…I love the smell of fresh gridlock in the morning. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
A 10-year-old asked whether she was surprised when her husband won the 2008 election. Obama said that it was a "shocking thing" because the country had never elected a black president before, and that she also is excited by the prospect of a day when the first Bill in Portland Maine is elected president.
---Margeret Talev
McClatchy News
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