Sarah Palin's coming to Scottsdale, her and Todd. Apparently they've bought a place in North Scottsdale, no doubt somewhere up near McDowell Mountain. It's wild and beautiful there.
Welcome neighbor, there are some things you'll need to know about living in the desert. First, always be kind to the Javelina. While experts say be wary of Javelina it shouldn't be a problem for a former Alaskan. Javelina respect folks like you so be sure to offer your hand in greeting. If bitten wipe off the blood and head for the nearest emergency room (make sure to put any amputated digits on ice). When the pain gets to be too much just tell yourself America has the best health care system in the world and you can afford it. Second, make sure you do some night time scorpion hunting. Always take along a black light, you don't want to inadvertently step on them in the dark. If you are stung any numbness or tingling of extremities or face, blurry vision, or muscle twitching and/or roving eye movements shouldn't derail your Presidential quest. Besides everyone loves a good war story. Third, drink lots of liquids. Coffee is great in hot weather. What could be better on a one hundred and ten degree day then hot coffee? It'll show off your women next door quality and display some good old anti-intellectual sense. Real Americans will love you for it.
There are many other things to learn about your new home. It may take a while, but you'll be comfortable here in no time and come to love Arizona; it really is a dry heat. Oh, and make sure to ask your new neighbors for their favorite recipes. Just about everybody has one for sautéed road kill.