When did capitalists become such pathetic wimps? When did they become such sniveling crybabies? All I hear from jagoff Republican Senators and Congresspeople, all I hear from "Captains of Industry and Finance" and their legions of overfed money whores on CNBC, all I hear from smarmy conservative pundits on phony "news" networks, is that capital is sitting on the sidelines because there is a "lack of certainty." They whine about a lack of certainty in tax policy. They whine about a lack of certainty in regulatory regimes. They whine and whine and whine. Business needs certainty they say, and without it business will not invest. Without it, capitalism cannot function properly. What a steaming pile.
Look, I'm just a cheeto-stained wretch sitting in my garage, but even I know that real capitalism thrives on uncertainty. Even I know that capitalism is supposed to be a dynamic, feral, all against all system where uncertainty is the norm. Uncertainty represents the elements of opportunity, risk, reward, and--yes--loss inherent in capitalism. Capitalism is not about playing it safe within the four corners of a certain future. Certainty is for rigged pseudo-capitalism.
Predictably, these faux-capitalists can't even be consistent. When he's not whining about the lack of certainty, chief CNBC jackal Larry Kudlow is fond of quoting Schumpeter's (ironically by way of Marx) pro-market maxim that capitalism is in the business of "creative destruction." Hey Larry (may I call you Larry?), where's the certainty in that? Hey Larry, where's the message discipline? Hey Larry, where's the intellectual honesty?
It grieves me to say this, but I don't think whiners like Kudlow are sincere. I don't believe these market delinquents actually believe in capitalism. Oh sure, they want reward. They want G5 Gulfstream levels of reward. But, if they think there's risk, they'll simply take their two trillion balls and go home. And, in their childish snit, they'll implicitly threaten to hold the rest of us hostage. (I guess they can tolerate our uncertainty.)
I guess what they actually mean by certainty is--ultimately--a complete absence of taxes and regulation. They certainly say they want something akin to laissez-faire, and its idiot cousin in the basement, Social Darwinism. How long would these people survive in, say, the Gilded Age? How would they appraise their chances in a market environment with no rules? (What would all those business and tax attorneys do for a living?) How long would it take John D. Rockefeller or Andrew Carnegie to screw contemporary "capitalists" upside-down with their pants on? (OK, on second thought, maybe I'm wrong on this point. Given the demonstrable crimes committed by these dipsticks in the past few years, and the failure of the justice system to call them to task, maybe they would thrive in the Gilded Age. Maybe the rest of us have already been screwed upside-down with our pants on.)
Despite their avowed preference for a market-based economy, I don't think they actually like or want capitalism. I think they like and want cronyism, the fix, the secret insider dope, the Congress and regulators in their pocket. They don't really want to compete, to be smart, to be quick, to be nimble. They want guarantees. They want to win without risking losing. They want a free brunch. They want to wallow in moral hazard. And, most assuredly, they want to thrive at our expense. (I actually heard one of these cannibals on CNBC last week say, "If there's no one to feed off, you can't make a profit.") They want your slice of apple pie. I don't think they're on our side. And, I don't think they're actually capitalists.
Nevertheless, they say they want certainty. Well so do I. I want to be certain that my children will inherit a livable world. I want certainty that our shared civic interests are fairly represented in our republic. I want to be certain Medicare will be there for all of us. I want to be certain that Social Security will be there for all of us. I want to be certain that the "social safety net" will grow--not wither away--in the future. I want to be certain that I'm treated fairly in the marketplace. I want to be certain that reason and truth and sanity will out.
Of course, unlike the moral and ethical cowards who bloviate across the business and political airwaves each day, who spew their supply-side gibberish in Congress, who mutter darkly about undue regulation, unfair taxes, and the oppressive burden of the "welfare state" in corner offices, boardrooms, suites of K Street lobbying firms and the buffet line at the American Enterprise Institute, I know one thing. I know there is no certainty. I know there are no guarantees, no free lunch. I know this because I'm an adult. And, I know I have to work for the progressive agenda I favor, not whine about the challenge. And, I know I can't simply take my ball and go home.
End of rant.