I hear it all the time, "why can't we just be friends?" Republicans generally just don't understand why the opposing side feels passionately repulsed by their attitudes. Simply it is because Republicans want to take away rights and civil liberties not just agree to disagree, they actually interfere with societies ability to move towards self actualization. Recently we had the opportunity to experience this first hand and see how they live and think-quite illuminating, and gives some understanding as to why they don't negotiate or compromise in all dealings.
I had this great idea, or so I thought. I posted an ad on craigslist to do a house swap. My son goes to school in California and we have a great house in Northern Virginia. Eventually I got a response from a couple who said that they have family in the DC area and this would work great-we agreed. (this isn't about a legal agreement, it is about the psychology of the other side) All went well in the 9 months leading up to the swap. I had stupidly assumed that this was a cool, liberal, evolved older couple. (my very very flawed california stereotype) In the days leading up to the swap we started having problems-the guy wanted to swap cars, which was fine with me after we explored with the insurance company. We had planned to do alot of side trips to Northern and Southern Ca for fun and business. At this point the personality of republicans started to come out. On the day before we left I got an email asking: "will the children have adult supervision at all times"? (my "children" are 16,17,21) and a stipulation that the car only be used for a certain number of miles. (remember it was his idea...) That should have been a clue and if it had come out earlier than the day before we stepped on the plane, I would have reconsidered. When we got there it all made sense. The home was average, small compared to ours and modest (which was fine-we didn't need or expect much) but it was the extreme odd (can you say OCD) organization of it that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. All foods were organized into quart sized zip lock containers, and even underwear was folded. You may say, "well its good that a person is organized" and I would agree, but as a therapist I can tell you this is all about personality and boundaries. These people "covet" their things and are very fearful that someone will come and take their stuff. They have all kinds of security measures (alarms, locks). Let me also point out that I had no idea that I was doing business not only with a "card carrying" teabagger (she works for the party and so do her children) so when we did the car swap I didn't know the humor involved. (my license tag reads, "No GOP"). Her library included the party Bibles: Coulter, Bush, O'Reilly and various Confederate Manifestos-nothing else. (no books!) When we saw the material we had a laugh but actually had no way of knowing who and what they were. (my son would later explain to me that there is a strong red central valley in CA-and as he campaigned for Obama he was often heckled and threatened)
We enjoyed our stay nevertheless, with some bumps and near conflict. I must point out that the woman that I was dealing with epitomized passive aggressive behavior. She did NO direct conflict and actually handed the phone to her husband when I was confrontational or direct with her. The words and tone were angry and I could tell it was just under the surface. She had a 28 foot stick up the bum. She was clearly angry with our license plate (but again I had no way of knowing and didn't do it on purpose) and she acted out passive aggressively at the end.
The deal was that we would leave their car at their home and they would drive our car to the airport where we would pick it up when we got in. Here's where the creepy, not so passive aggression comes out. The location of the car (where they left it) was not disclosed to us, she held it hostage until very late in the day so we could "stew" ("go to your room and think about what you did"). I had asked her to call and leave a message on my phone not send an email. She sent an email (I had no access to email)...OK, then when we got home crazy time started. We were locked out, they took the spare key away. (for security???) They moved our furniture, they swapped out all of the linens and hid them. (this woman lives at Bed, Bath and very Beyond) They put pink sheets on my sons beds. (???)They changed the presets in our car and TV. When I turned the TVs on they were all set to Fox. I must say I am having a problem interpreting all of the crazy messages. But just to be sure that I got it-she left me a phone message: "Your car is at the airport, it is in spot R, as in Richard, 2, G, as in GOP"...Oh, I get it. On our kitchen table she left a flyer for a home for sale, (our home is for sale) that I guess is supposed to show that our home's price is to high compared to this one. (???)
We left lots of books behind because we simply didn't have space in our luggage coming home. I read 5 fiction books while I was there and my son read a library. (12 hard cover books) These were all current releases,well reviewed and all on the New York Times Bestseller lists. (if that means anything) I say this because of her response which is very telling as to the teabagging mindset. I would have been thrilled to find new books (but instead she did leave the magazine devoted to women's middle age-thrilling...)
I had sent her an email asking WTF was up with the real estate flyer??? (I wanted to know if this agent had come by), in her typical frosted controlling response, she wrote back:
"We thought it might be of interest to you. I will forward some of your mail. Do you want me just to dispose of the books?" HUH??? I responded, "you could read or donate them."
This brings me to the main point. THEY ARE DIFFERENT. They think and live differently. Studies have shown they use their brains differently. They react to life in a way that shows differences in personality and response to the environment. These people have rigid, rigid (can I say it again) rigid boundaries. They are fearful of the outside, they are controlling, they have NO sense of humor and are very very primitive in development. (are stuck at an early stage a la Maslow)...
I can admit that there are some liberals who also have a rod implanted in their derrieres but far fewer (the Politically Correct ones are offensive too) and I know some that make me sick in the way that they follow the parental guides to movies...and the ones here who correct spelling issues.
This confirms my belief that the right doesn't read. ("I will dispose of them"-said the Evil Queen) In negotiating with these people they test boundaries like children. Liberals don't understand that these are basically children. (no offense to children cause its developmentally OK for them, they are kids) but in dealing with the right and especially the more crazy right-baggers, you can't give them an inch....literally, they will want Social Security.