I just lost my temper and "cussed" some folks out. Before I did -- I said I'd be proud to have that be my last words. That was a lie. I was embarrassed from the moment I hit post. Saying those words and hitting post allowed me to vent -- I guess. Too bad there's no delete button to take them back.
Here's the thing. Within Brooklynbadboy's diary there were people who had been feigning ignorance of what the boycott was all about mocking black people's complaints about racism. As of when I read that comment -- there were 8 rec's and several supporting comments from people who hadn't rec'd it. Some of them were latino -- so -- I guess that was supposed to make it OK for them to do that.
I lost my temper. I did. I refuse to beg people to respect me -- after all -- nobody you have to beg for respect is somebody whose respect is worth having. Just as some of those rec'cers have been going into boycott diaries claiming ignorance about why we're boycotting even as they mock us for issues leading to it -- I don't know if I believe that somebody just didn't know the history behind some of the recently banned/suspended posters' anger.
Maybe I'll be back in a week -- maybe not. I'm not a frequent poster anyway -- so I won't be missed by anyone. For me -- it's become a matter of pride. I won't say anything more -- I already regret my hasty remark of a few moments ago. I'll have a week to think about whether or not I care to even lurk here -- anymore.
It's really starting to feel like begging though -- and I refuse to beg.