I need some help - got a little to give? 'Cause I'm starting to fear...
Eleven months ago, I lost my hero, best friend, beloved one, Will, to melanoma. I've written a lot about him, and if you would like to know more, here's some of his story Promises, and Pursuing Justice. Will was - is - as the bible verse said, "engraved on the palms of my hands...." He illuminated my life in a way that was transformational. I once read a tale in which Krishna told a young boy about to embark on a long journey with him, "if you listen carefully, at the end you'll be someone else." And so it was for me with Will. I'm "changed, utterly...." - and, I believe, infinitely richer for it.
Will had a disability. His disability meant he was often segregated, isolated, rejected, controlled, abused, and exploited by those who used him for profit while giving him nothing in return. When asked what being labeled "disabled" meant to him, he said, "Being misunderstood...."
And then he found Access Living. After 22 years affiliated with an agency that did virtually nothing positive for him, an organization that had a financial disincentive to help him achieve his goals of full autonomy and independence, Access Living was, at last, a breath of air after an interminable struggle to surface from beneath cold, dark water. It was, he told me, the first place he didn't feel misunderstood. Established in 1980, Access Living is a change agent committed to fostering an inclusive society that enables Chicagoans with disabilities to live fully-engaged and self-directed lives. Nationally recognized as a leading force in the disability advocacy community, it was, to Will, nothing short of a miracle. He wept when the first series of classes he attended there finished. He planned to return for more, to volunteer, and, he hoped, work there one day. The disease that took his life also robbed him of that opportunity.
And now we are approaching the "yarzheit" (literally, "year's time") of Will's death, and the grief from that loss has bent me to the ground, left me feeling as though I've had all my skin ripped off but somehow, mistakenly, did not die too. Through the worst of the pain, the memories of Will's experiences at Access Living, the glimpse of what his life could have - would have - been had it not been eviscerated by cancer at 45, kept resurfacing. We knew we needed to do something to honor him and the place he so loved.
We asked the amazing folk singer Mark Dvorak if he'd perform a benefit concert and miraculously, he agreed. We found a venue - equally miraculous - that is not only accessible but beautiful (and we have a sign language interpreter, too), and a co-sponsor College of DuPage .
Now we need an audience. We all get dozens of invites to good causes monthly and most of us are too tired, busy, or exhausted financially to support them. The program that allowed Will to leave the agency that had crushed him for years and find Access Living is under threat in Illinois, along with most other Medicaid based services, and more and more people with disabilities will find themselves relegated, again, to the outer reaches of our already-fractured, atomized society. So many organizations that purport to help persons with disabilities take public money and warehouse the human beings they are supposed to be serving. Access Living is a brilliant example of what an organization for persons with disabilities could and should be.
And so here's where I need your help. If you know anyone in the Chicago area, please share this with them: Concert for Independence. Please help me disseminate this widely (opens as a PDF) Songs For Independence flyer Please share this diary with your social networking groups. If you can't come to the concert but would like to make a donation (any size is welcome) to Access Living, here is their address - please indicate that it is in memory of William Thanet French. Help us make a difference for - and with - Will. Donate to Access Living
Kaddish for Will
Yit-gadal v'yit-kadash sh'mey raba, b'alma di v'ra hirutey, v'yam-lihmal-hutey b'ha-yey-hon uv'yomey-hon uv'ha-yey d'hol beyt yisrael ba-agalau-vizman kariv, v'imru amen.
Y'hey sh'mey raba m'varah l'alam ul'almey alma-ya.
Yit-barah v'yish-tabah v'yit-pa-ar v'yit-romam v'yit-na-sey v'yit-hadar v'yit-aleh v'yit-halal sh'mey d'kud-sha, b'rih hu, leyla min kol bir-hata v'shi-rata tush-b'hata v'ne-hemata da-amiran b'alma, v'imru amen.
Y'hey sh'lama raba min sh'ma-ya, v'ha-yim aleynu v'al kol yisrael, v'imru amen.
Oseh shalom bim-romav, hu ya-aseh shalom aleynu v'al kol yisrael, v'imru amen.