Let me start off by saying that I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas and started the New Year on a positive note. This usually is my most favorite time of year. I love the traveling and spending time with friends and family, getting together to share stories with relatives who we haven't seen since the last large family gathering and spending good, quality time together. I have always looked forward to this time of year and will assume most of you do as well.
I really hope that all of you enjoyed your time together with your friends and families. I hope that you all ate, drank, laughed, hugged each other and loved the time you spent catching up. This is what makes this time of year special to me. The chance to bond with your extended family members and celebrate.
This year was different. This year was horrible. I hope that next year is better for me and for my family.
Right now I am not so sure.
I lost my younger brother on Christmas Eve-Eve, December 23rd 2011 this year, right before my family gathered to celebrate the holidays together.
More below the fold.
My brother Dustin was a kind, compassionate, extremely intelligent and troubled young man. He was a father, a brother, an uncle and a son. He was a Mechanic, an artist, an exceptional writer, and a good listener and he was a genuinely good guy who had been dealt a shitty hand and he just couldn't see any other way out. He meant a lot of things to a lot of different people, but to me, he was my little brother and one of my best friends. I was always ready to hear him out if he had a problem and I was constantly offering him a chance to start over by inviting him to come live with me. I would invite him down to my house so he could look for work or go back to school but he always declined.
Dustin was enrolled and doing well in a local community college right before he passed away. He had a knack for writing and he also discovered that he had a gift for oil painting. I once helped him with a homework assignment and got to reading some of his past work and I was shocked. The concepts and political viewpoints he wrote about made me feel like I was reading my own work. I was quite proud of him and what he had accomplished in just a short while at school. This pride was exponentially greater when you realize that early in life he struggled with a learning disability and dyslexia and struggled in elementary school. This same pride is also felt when showing off his oil on canvas paintings. He really had a gift for these things.
My brother also had a talent when it came to fixing things. Like the time the alternator on my Jeep went out when my girlfriend broke down three hours away from home. My brother Dustin (the Hero that day) drove an hour and a half out of his way to fix the car on the side of the road. Not only did he replace the alternator but he also replaced the ball joint and front wheel bearing while he was at it. I offered him money, which was declined.
That was my brother.
He didn't want much in this life. He just wanted to quit struggling and he wanted the things we all want in life. He wanted a job, a place to call home and a woman to treat him good. He could have had all of these things but that is much easier said than done as he struggled with depression, loneliness and isolation. In the end, these things eventually took over and cut short the life of my little brother.
You will always be remembered Dustin and I can't wait to see you again someday.
Rest in Peace Dustin.
4-1-80 to 12-23-11
1:38 PM PT: I will not be able to respond to comments for awhile, so please, do not think I have ignored you. I will respond to every comment when I have more time this evening.
I want to personally say THANK YOU!
To all of you who have sent me messages or thoughtful comments I appreciate them. This has been soooo hard for me and the rest of my family. Again, let me just say thank you one more time :)
This community is amazing!