I'm thinking about starting a church, "for profit" and issuing stocks, options, playing with derivatives, all the usual Wall Street stuff. As the stock prices surge, I will initiate a hostile takeover of the Vatican, which will be in financial distress and not eligible for a government bailout. Then sell off all it's assets, feed the poor and turn Vatican City into an amusement park, with rides and everything.
With those earnings I will initiate a hostile takeover of the Walt Disney Corp. and turn it into a religion which will later buy up the Mormom Church, including all rights to the Osmond family holdings, and I will buy the Jehovah's Witnesses and with it all of the publishing rights to any songs by Prince, and become a majority shareholder in the Lutheran and other protestant church rackets.
Buying the Evangelical mega-churches would perhaps be too expensive, but I'm pretty sure that if I offered Pastor Hagee more money than he's making now to instead go on TV and promote a brand of cat food, he would take the deal.
With all of those huge earnings I will purchase Judaism, immediately institute a two-state solution giving the Palestinian people back their pre-1967 land and placing a 10 year moratorium on Joan Rivers making any television appearances.
With my huge earnings I would commission the best artists in the world to make paintings of the "prophet" Mohammed and post them everywhere, especially over the urinals in men's restrooms. My company would be called "Profits for Prophets" and would solve world hunger and reveal the truth about the "religion of peace".
Now, before you "unfriend" or report me or censor me or put a Fatwa on me, take this fun quiz: If any part of this offended you, that is an indication of how brainwashed you are by religious indoctrination.
Power to the People! Long live Mickey Mouse!