Bill Maher had a great final New Rule, as usual, last night explaining just why people don't seem to like Mitt Romney. It's not because he's wealthy.
And finally, New Rule: Mitt Romney has to start understanding why people don't like him. It's not because he's rich. It's how he got rich.
Now here are some other rich guys. Here's Henry Ford with his Model T. Walt Disney with an early cartoon idea. Jobs and Wozniak with their first desktop. (pictures below the fold)
Now here's Mitt and his partners in Bain, starring in Snow White and the Seven Fuckfaces.
You see what the first three have that Mitt doesn't? A product. Something they made besides money.
Videos and full transcript below the fold.
Now, these videos may be pulled from YouTube by the time you see this diary, so watch them quickly before they're gone!
And finally, New Rule: Mitt Romney has to start understanding why people don't like him. It's not because he's rich. It's how he got rich.
Now here are some other rich guys. Here's Henry Ford with his Model T.
Walt Disney with an early cartoon idea.
Jobs and Wozniak with their first desktop.
Now here's Mitt and his partners in Bain, starring in Snow White and the Seven Fuckfaces.
You see what the first three have that Mitt doesn't? A product. Something they made besides money.
You know, venture capitalists are not creators. They're businessmen who find weak companies, and prey on them. And Mitt can't understand why anyone would ever question capitalism no matter how feral it gets. "What? We found a wounded animal and we ate it!"
When asked about wealth distribution and income inequality, Mitt said, "It's fine to talk about those things in quiet rooms." Quiet rooms? Why? It's a wealth gap, not anal warts. No wonder he doesn't want to talk about it out loud. The most recent payroll data came in this week, and the median annual income for an American is $26,353 a year, or as Mitt calls it, a rounding error.
At one of the debates, Mitt said, "I won't try and define who's rich and who's not rich, I want everybody to be rich." Cue the morons in the audience clapping their hands like seals at a Sea World getting a bucket of chum.
Well, I can define who's rich and who's not. Who's rich is Mitt Romney. And who's not is someone making $26,000 a year. (audience applause)
And the success or failure of his campaign will depend on his ability to convince someone making $26,000 a year that he, Mitt, a rich guy, knows how to make them rich too. And if you elect him, he'll tell you the secret.
It's not a political platform, so much as a wealth seminar. This is the same thing that makes guys like Tony Robbins rich. They have a secret. But the secret turns out to be that they're rich because they're robbing you!
And somehow Americans are good with this.
People who like Mitt Romney, like him for the same reason other people like rappers, who endlessly rub it in that their life is so much better than ours. They're in the hot tub at the after party with the bling and the bitches. And yet no matter how clear Jay-Z makes it that the hot tub is only for the coolest and most beautiful people, somehow when the song ends, that is us. The coolest and most beautiful people.
Yes, that's how Mitt Romney rolls, straight outta Salt Lake. Get equity or die trying. Is this picture really that much different than this one?
Or this one?
Or this one?
As the girl who does my weave likes to say, don't hate. And whatever you do, don't practice the politics of envy. Remember, Mitt knows the secret. Obama doesn't know the secret. As Mitt always says, he never even ran a corner store. He was a community organizer helping poor people! Bleh! What would you rather do, help poor people, or have money in your mouth?