Jon Stewart really hit at the heart of Mitt Romney's central argument for electing him President in the first place, that of his "business experience". Here's a partial transcript.
So Romney's big pitch is the time that he spent as the founding CEO of Bain Capital. Which, even though Bain Capital sounds like it's been named after a Batman villain, and sounds like a company whose logo is a giant fist squeezing the globe, we are assured that Bain Capital is in no way evil.
...
It was like when Bain bought Wesley-Jessen vision care for $6 million bucks back in 1995. The company was in the specialty contact lens business. Wesley-Jessen specialty contact lenses. For when you absolutely, positively wanna freak out your friends. So Bain refocused on the core business, cut ad spending, and two years later, took Wesley-Jessen public and brought themselves in a cool $300 million dollar profit. Cha-ching, motherfucker!
Or there's Dade International, a half-century-old medical supply company Bain bought in 1994. They again refocused the business by closing down its facilities in Puerto Rico and Miami, cutting 850 jobs, freezing pensions at a third plant, and slashing Dade's research & development budget. All of which earned Bain a cool $342 million dollars as a reward for steering Dade International into bankruptcy.... wait a minute.
Wait, they get the money anyway? Bain gets the $342 million dollars, even if they put the company into.... You know what would've helped Dade not go bankrupt? The $342 million dollars! But you know what? I guess it's fair. Bain risked its own money to buy the company. So that risk should be rewarded.
BEN SWANN, FOX19 CINCINNATI (1/10/2012): Bain Capital would eventually move on to more lucrative and risky investment strategies called leveraged buyouts. You buy a company with borrowed money, then use the company's assets as collateral.
Wow, that is a brilliant strategy! Leveraged buyouts! It's like putting 10% down on a car, then using the value of that car to get another loan and repay yourself that 10%, and maybe a little 20% vig on top for your troubles. And then walking away, leaving the car on the hook for the payment.
So Bain Capital would borrow money from other people knowing that those debts might never be repaid, while still profiting themselves? I don't know. I don't know how I feel about that business practice. Does it make anyone else uneasy?
MITT ROMNEY (1/13/2012): I think it's simply immoral for us as a nation and as a generation to keep spending more and more money, by borrowing money from other people, knowing those debts will never be repaid during our lifetimes.
(audience boos Romney)
I don't know who that ruggedly handsome guy is, but I agree 100%. So there you go. Mitt Romney's pitch to Americans appears to be: Elect me as your President. I have 25 years of business experience doing something I believe this country should never, ever do.
Videos below the fold.
Jon also covered the
pandering by the GOP candidates down in Florida, and what Obama
had to do with his Google+ online town hall.
Meanwhile, Stephen looked at the
news that the Tennessee Tea Party wants to
remove mentions of slavery from history textbooks.
Yes, please, stop making slavery about race. Everyone knows it was about economics. Black people just happened to be a great investment. (Some of Stephen's Best Friends Are Investments!) Now a spokesman for the Tennessee Tea Party says they just want to address:
HAL ROUNDS (1/13/2012): ... made up criticism about... the founders intruding on the Indians or having slaves or being hypocrites...
Yes, that is totally made up criticism. The founders didn't intrude on the Indians. They knocked first, then killed them. (Made Small Talk Before Smallpox)
Point is, no one's talking about rewriting history. Just cutting out chunks of it. (Please Start With the '80's)
He also looked at some of Newt Gingrich's supporters, like jailed ex-Congressman Duke Cunningham, who promised he could deliver Newt the prison vote.
Jon talked with right-wing Yale Law School professor
Jonathan Macey. They really got into it over Bain Capital's practices, so the interview went long. Here's the whole unedited interview in three parts.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Stephen had singer Bjork on his show.