Cross posted at The Smew, Canada's Pre-eminent News Source
ATHENS, GREECE—Greek Prime Minister Lucas Papademos reaffirmed late last night Greece’s total commitment to the gyro despite growing economic pressure that may force the small Mediterranean nation to accept a less meaty and insanely delicious sandwich.
“Greece has enacted a series of wide-ranging sandwich austerity measures and we are confident that this will allow us to remain in the gyro-zone,” Papdemos stated.
Street protests had erupted last week when it was suggested that Greece might return to just a simple pita with maybe some sauce or switch to another sandwich altogether, such as a BLT.
“There are no plans whatsoever for Greece to join the BLT club of sandwiches,” Papdemos insisted. “The days of the BLT are over: Greece cannot return to two pieces of dry toast and a measly strip or two of bacon,” he added, “tomato or no tomato.”
Pressure from both the IMF and the European Union on Greece to get its profligate sandwich problem under control has led to a series of recent measures by the embattled nation to reign in the mouth-watering combination of slow-roasted lamb, onions, and scrumptious tzatziki sauce all rolled up in a soft, fluffy pita that’s to die for. A measure passed in August reduced the number of onions by over half, an action that most observers have said was long overdue.
Germany and France, the two economically strongest nations in the European monetary union, hailed the measure but called for continued reductions in spiciness, especially the Germans. Chancellor Angela Merkel released a statement Thursday calling for Greece to “make sandwiches that are a little more sausage-y, maybe with some sauerkraut and a sensible hard roll.”
She indicated that German taxpayers were no longer willing to fund their poorer neighbours to the south with their profligate, rich lamb sandwichy goodness, although the fries could remain as they were.
“What’s a gyro without fries, after all?” Merkel added.