As usual, I was perusing the intertubz when I found the following story on the Huffington Post.
Ant-Bullying Law Challenged by Christian Groups:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/...
Focus on the Family is planning to counter the "Day of Silence," an annual event to protest LGBT bullying set for April 20, with its own "Day of Dialogue". The evangelical organization's aim is to muffle an effort that "crosses the line in a lot of ways beyond bullying into indoctrination, just promoting homosexuality and transgenderism."
This isn't just about what kind of sex you have, or if you have sex at all--[because honestly slut shaming of women and girls is all tied up in this] but also how you personify your perceived gender.
Many of you young folks and metropolitan types do not remember the days when women were socially mocked and labeled for wearing pants. Most of that, sort of ended, in the 1950s and 1960s. But for those of us who grew up in conservative areas, it didn't end in some churches and communities until the mid 1970s.
If clothes make the man, then by all respects, I am a cross dresser.
I am a woman, who often wears men's clothes and shoes.
If the job makes the man, then I took it further by pursuing male dominated sports, and working [until very recently] in male dominated professions such as the military.
I was, as a child, a tomboy--the female counterpart to the Sissy-boy. And counter to the prophecies of hopeful aunties, I never grew out of it. And I was bullied for it, by both adults and children for not adequately complying to the expected gender norms of the day.
As a young child, the response to my *differences occurred on a spectrum ranging from "Bad Egg to Cute to You Go Girl!"
But as I became a teenager, the negative responses became more negative, and this negativity increased as I aged.
Then suddenly I am not a Tomboy, I am a femi-Nazi. And if I must be a femi-nazi then I must hate men. And if I hate men, then I must love women. And if I love women then I must be a lesbian.
The point being: Gay Bashing and Gay Bullying doesn't just affect individuals who are genuinely gay. This also affects people like me who are not perceived as sufficiently female or male in their behavior or dress.
This is how stereotypes not only harm individuals, but also drive a wedge between all of us in society.
As a young person I remember being frightened of lesbians. Not because I knew of any directly, but because I had to constantly fight the stigma of being [allegedly] a lesbian. No one wants to be a lesbian! This was especially true in the military prior to DADT, when many straight women who refused to sleep with certain folks or who excelled a little too well in their job[s] were often accused of being a lesbian by male competitors or would-be-suitors. [read rejected suitors].
Pardon some of the language, but
In addition to females trying to negotiate the fine line between sluts and lesbians--some men also had to deal with the stigma of being labeled a "f@g".
If a man didn't want to join in the harassment of She-males like myself, his sensitivity and humanity could also make him a target of Gay-Bashing, even if he isn't in fact gay.
So when you read these stories about conservative groups that fight policy that would attempt to prevent bullying, understand that they target Gay and Transgendered people because those groups represent the pinnacle of the spectrum of Gender-Non-Conformity.
Unfortunately, kids who tend to make choices that are not considered typical for their gender are at higher risk of being abused by their parents or other family members, and are at risk for developing post-traumatic stress disorder http://www.cbsnews.com/...
Given the level of sexual harassment, punitive assaults and gay bashing, I would say this is true of adults as well.
The Abrahamic religions [among others] have very strict gender roles and tend to punish those who fail to conform with those roles. This is where issues like "Traditional Family Values" come into play.
That part of their Dog-Whistle repertoire isn't just about *Not being Gay, but also about women occupying a sufficiently feminine space as the home-maker-nurturer, and the man being the macho-bread-winner-leader.
Homosexuals are perceived as the antithesis to these ideals, but people like me are a danger too, because we erode that construct by being visibly, ambiguous in our dress and habits.
The piece on Gender-NonConformity hasn't nailed everything down yet, but it made some interesting speculations about why these kids are often abused not only by their peers but by adults in their lives:
"Parents may be uncomfortable with their child's gender expression and may think that parenting can change behaviors, so they may become harsher," she says. "Some parents think kids who are non-conforming will grow up to be a gay or lesbian, and if they are not comfortable with this, they may think they can change a kid's future."
I know my parents and other relatives wondered.
It's difficult sometimes to have this discussion. The other side wants all of this to be all or nothing.
Either there are no gender-differences, or people like me are the tip of an iceberg of dangerous deviance.
In this sort of screaming match, there is no room to just be who you are without shame or fear.
So when you see the backlash against bullying statutes that protect members of GLBT community. Remember that these protections could also be there to shield girls that like to play football and ride dirt-bikes, and boys that write poetry or design clothes.
Your sexual orientation shouldn't matter, nor should your gender identity or gender expression.
11:12 AM PT: A Good News story:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/...
Moms and Dad's Spring Open Gender Traps.
Cheers to that! Let's spring them all!