In an effort to rekindle the spirit of the now largely-defunct Tea Party, rogue elements have formed a new political party. The group claims it is not continuing the mission of the Tea Party, but simply working with a different focus.
"We share the same basic ideology as the Tea Party," said the group's founder, Stuart Pidhick, "We both think the best way to show the government is broken is to drown it in a bathtub. The difference between us and the Tea Party is we're much more focused on 'Obummer's' nanny state, and the attempts to rob us of our freedom and junk."
The new group cites 1776 examples of the so-called "nanny state". "We had to get pretty nitpicky there at the end," Pidhick said, "but we made it."
Cited examples include seatbelts, batting helmets, insurance, stop signs, mattress labels, breathalyzers, three-prong electrical plugs, fuses, flame-retardant childrens' pajamas, pasteurization, and laws prohibiting the sale of fireworks. "My daddy says a half a stick of dynamite is only half the fun!" said Pidhick's eldest son, five-year-old Stuart Pidhick, III.
Food safety laws seem to be a particularly large bone of contention with the group. According to Pidhick, "We gotta stop hamstringing businesses by punishing them for putting rat droppings in your food. And it's my right not to wash the chicken feces off the raw eggs that I use in my steak tartare."
In a speech to followers, Pidhick explained that the group's unusual name came from a combination of it's mission against the so-called "nanny state", and the group's hatred of elitism.
"We demand our right to stick a fork in the toaster without 'Obummer' breathing down our necks! And we're tired of these smarty-pants know-it-alls! Back in the day, this country had a group of real patriots called the Know-Nothings! I bet they were about hatin' elitists too, but I don't want to actually look it up! So next time you're at a county fair or political rally, look for us... We call ourselves the 'Ignorant Forkers'! Heck, I bet you'll be surrounded by 'Ignorant Forkers. I sure am!"