(This is a draft diary I didn't publish from two years ago... and now that community standards no longer exist there's nothing to protect you from my sense of humor. Consider yourself warned.)
Robert Gibbs and the Mystery of the Rodent in the Rose Garden
White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said today that it was clear to him what type of rodent appeared near President Obama in the Rose Garden yesterday: “where I’m from, it’s a rat,” he said.
As you can see, unidentified rodents are taking over Washington D.C. While it's tempting to snark about politicians and sinking ships, I think this illustrates a deeper problem.
No this clearly illustrates the folly of Michelle Obama's unwise decision to create an organic garden patch in the Rose Garden. The Obama's ignored the advice of widely acknowledged industry experts who opposed this project. Clearly such animals can't survive in a chemical-soaked managed environment. Now America is at risk of numerous rodent-borne diseases, including tularemia, hantavirus, and bubonic plague.
Like the swamp-dwelling lagomorphs terrifying Jimmy Carter, Obama's career is now at risk from small woodland mammals. And in the upcoming elections, congressional Democrats are clearly doooomed. You heard it here first.