https://www.flickr.com/photos/22062680@N07/7170831318/
It is with a heavy heart that I write this diary. I look to my left Duke is lying on the floor next to me as he has done for years. He lies there in a way that has annoyed me since he was a puppy as I cannot not move my chair without rolling over a paw or a tail. Tomorrow he will not be here next to me and I will miss the way he has annoyed me over all of these years. This has been a difficult week for me and my family, we all knew that the decision to put Duke to sleep was going to be coming. We just did not expect it this soon. Our hopes were that he would make it through summer so that I could finish my thesis and our son could have one last summer with Duke, but it is not to be. Duke has had issues with his hips for several years that were getting progressively worse and he had been having some minor bladder control issues for the last month. On Saturday morning those minor issue became major. He could no longer hold it through the night. Saturday morning I was wakened by the sound of trickling water at 5:00 am and found a trail of urine from the side of my bed all the way to the back door. The next morning I woke up to Duke struggling to get up from the side of my bed at 4:00 am. We made it outside just in time. Over the weekend he started to pant heavier and heavier, started to drink copious amounts of water and would urinate without realizing he was urinating. His breath started to get the smell of ammonia and his teeth turned to almost an orange color. His tongue was no longer a healthy pink.
Sunday evening I called my ex-wife and told her what was going on and invited her and my son over for dinner so we could discuss what we would do as a family. We told my son that Duke was nearing the end of his life and that we would have to make a decision soon. At this point I was fooling myself, I kept thinking he would get better. The next day a friend at work loaned me some doggie diapers so I would not have to jump out of bed at a minutes notice to let Duke out when he had to go. My ex-wife and I e-mailed each other throughout the day trying to decide what to do. A decision made more difficult by a full calendar this month and next month. In the back of my head I just kept thinking to myself that I had to get him through the next two weeks, my graduation and graduation party, so I would not forever tie my graduation to his death.
I finally came to the realization that I was being selfish. Duke was in pain and in renal failure. Waiting two to three weeks was not going to gain us or Duke anything. When I got home from work on Monday I made the call to Full Circle Veterinary Service and made an appointment for Dr. Carrie Donahue to come to my home tonight at 6:30 pm to end Duke's suffering.
This has been a difficult week knowing that the end was near; however, we have taken the time to look back at how truly special Duke was. We picked up Duke from the Columbia County Humane Society on May 9th, 1998, as a six month old ball of energy and fur. The first year we had him we were not sure he could even bark. He used to run along the fence with the neighbor's dog. The neighbor dog would bark and bark...Duke, he just looked at him and ran down the fence line with him.
We thought we could leave Duke out of his crate while we were at work during the day. We found that to be a disaster. He ruined a couch, ate a box of Sudafed, and dug a hole in our kitchen floor. I can excuse the kitchen floor though. That was when we discovered he has terrified of thunderstorms. The vet suggested that Duke had separation anxiety and thought it would help if we got Duke a playmate. So we got Gus the Beagle. Gus turned out to be an instigator. Duke had never gotten into the trash before Gus...with Gus and Duke we would come home to trash strewn through our home. We started crating them during the day.
Duke is a protector. When we brought our son home from the hospital Duke would watch over him. Play with him and would never harm him. Duke knew just how hard or how light to bite when playing with Ev. Duke is a great judge of character. Duke only snapped at one person in his fourteen years on this earth. A friend of mine was married to this awful woman...no one on my group of friends like her. Duke didn't either...she reached down to pet him and he was having none of it. He growled and snapped as a warning and then left the room. Duke hated thunderstorms and the Fourth of July. He was terrified of the loud noises...I had to have tranquilizers on hand during the spring and summer. His hearing loss over the last couple of years has actually been a blessing. He no longer panics and hides in the bathtub.
Duke is the most loving dog I have ever had. Our Beagle, he is into the whole man's best friend thing for one reason only...food. Duke, well, he is in it for love. I don't think I would have made it through my divorce without him. He was always there for me with a smile on his face and wanting to be loved and to give love. Over the last few months he has gotten even more loving. As I look back on it I think that was him telling me that is was time. He tries his best to hide his pain and illness but he could not hide his love for us and as he got sicker, he got more loving. Tonight, sometime after 6:30 pm I will have a huge hole in my heart.
Rest in Peace Duke (12/14/97 - 5/10/12)https://www.flickr.com/photos/22062680@N07/7170863540/
8:10 AM PT: I would love to comment on this diary and to all of your kind words. But, I am struggling to read them between the tears. Know that I and my family thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for your support.