A reflection on what America and being American means to me... with a huge homage to my wonderful parents.
I was born during the Civil Right Era… 1965… to parents who pretty much voted Democratic, really being common sense independents who mostly agreed with the liberal point of view. Mom always used to say that she and Pop were just a couple of “dumb country kids” who did pretty good. They came from poor rural families in southern Missouri and managed to build a very comfortable suburban life for our family that included my four older brothers and me. Pop was a truck driver and mom worked as a waitress and photo colorist (this is hard to describe). Neither of them had more than a high school education, but both read voraciously: anything from novels to essays by great historic and literary figures.
We were never rich and I remember both lean and flush times. No matter our money situation, my folks always gave as much as they could to our church, charities, etc. They also took in strays (as in people) at the holidays and helped people they didn’t know, including a girl in my 1st grade class whose home burned. I never heard them grumble about paying taxes either.
I learned many valuable lessons from their example. Though I grew up in a very white (at that time) suburb of St. Louis, my parents never treated people differently based on race, ethnicity or religion. Everyone I ever saw them interact with was treated the same, so I was not “carefully taught to hate and to fear. They always appeared to get on well with people, so that seemed worth emulating.
My parents also instilled a strong work ethic and sense of duty, again leading by example and laying an attractive path to follow. Additionally, honesty, a sense of gratitude, and an obligation to give back seemed to permeate all they did. Thanks to Mom & Pop, I am a lousy liar who hates to even legitimately call in sick, but I love them for that. It’s a small burden to bear knowing that I can be proud of myself and who I am.
Because of Mom & Pop, I grew up to believe in America as a land of hope and promise where hard work, honesty and kindness will get you far. Born out of this is a belief that America is a place where people take care of one another and treat one another fairly. I also generally hold out hope and optimism that the people of this country will make the right decisions to get the USA back on track to being the best country it can be.
Sadly, my hope and optimism seem to take a daily beating these days. The lies, the fear, and the base selfishness I see spoonfed to a gullible public daily makes me ill. It brings to mind an editorial cartoon I saw recently of two people with toilet heads watching the TV news. Ironically, in a world with so much information available we are becoming increasingly polarized and dumbed down. Perhaps the chatter and noise are too much: sifting through it all is too difficult, so people simply swallow the most comfortable pabulum and tune the rest out.
Unfortunately for the Faux news contingent, I was raised by thinking parents who were never brainwashed, only disgusted, by their tactics. Mom always called Rush Limbaugh “Little Johnny One Note”. In a way I am glad that Mom has passed away and that Pop’s dementia is worsening… at least they don’t have to see the continuing erosion of all that they stood for.
I also am discouraged by the tone that so-called Christians have towards the less fortunate. What happened to taking care of “the least of these” and when you help or hurt someone, you are treating Christ the same way? Those who speak the loudest about their faith and values seem to be the first flush a lot of those values down the toilet, especially if their bank accounts are nice and fat.
I wish I had an answer, any answer, as to how to restore America to a place where people generally tell the truth, look out for one another, take only what they need, and give back all they can, and live deliberately and mindfully. Sadly the erosion of what I hold as basic American values continues apace as more money floods in to elections, people get more selfish and stop understanding connectedness, and fear of the “other” becomes the rule and not the exception. My soul feels bruised and tired, but I continue every day to try and make a small difference in the lives I touch, hoping that maybe a small kindness or a shared smile will help someone and that they will pay that forward.
So today, I am recommitting myself to deliberate, deliberative and mindful living, in accordance with the values my parents taught me. We are the most free when we live as mindfully and irreproachably as we can.