I didn't get approved for the loan because "I've got the skills to pay the bills" isn't an acceptable answer for what my credit score is.
My first mistake was humming I Shot the Sheriff when the cop looked at me wrong.
People don't realize the emotional toll it takes on me to not be part of a celebrity power couple.
I’m beginning to think that no one even actually has ants in their pants.
The biggest mystery of life is why people feel the need to continue searching for a meaning to life after discovering sex.
Things sure are going crazy in the Middle East. Did that Prophet Muhammad YouTube Video try to eat at a Chick-fil-A or something?
It’s amazing our ancestors survived despite having to go to two separate stores if they needed a car tire and a box of frozen corn dogs.
Stop posting about how talented your kids are on facebook. Someone their age made the computer you're using.
How many millions of years do humans have to live before they stop going crazy over a naked breast?
Politicians became careless after Andrew Breitbart died.