You have to feel sorry for the Republican Party tonight. In first place is Mitt Romney, the most disliked GOP frontrunner ever who is now known primarily as the only guy in American who likes firing workers as much as Donald Trump. In a strong second place is Ron Paul, who would make a great president of Idaho, as long as every remaining Klansman and anti-Semite could be herded into a compound there. Next, you have John Huntsman, who still has not figured out that his billionaire daddy can’t buy him the nomination of a party made up of people Huntsman doesn’t partially like and wouldn’t be caught dead socializing with. Finally, in a tie for last and least, you have the twin paragons of conservative morality—Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum—two men utterly obsessed with sex, heterosexual and homosexual respectively. And below last place was Rick Perry, who apparently had never seen snow before and is so stupid that the thought the sky was falling and scurried back to the South before the New Hampshire election took place.