I sure hope Arizona's legislators receive royalties from the late-night talk shows, because they routinely provide Letterman, Leno, Fallon, and the others so much material to work with. Case in point: the new, revised, unadulterated Birther Bill! Now with less dick!
Remember last year when the Arizona Legislature passed the infamous "Birther Bill?" And then Governor Jan Brewer -- in a rare moment of sanity -- vetoed it? Well, an amended version of the bill is heading to the Legislature -- compliments of Republican state Representative Carl Seel. New Times
That's right, last year's Birther Bill, which was also sponsored by Representative Seel, actually passed the 2:1 GOP-dominated legislature -- the first such bill in the nation. Oh goodie, another "first" for Arizona. We're so proud. HB 2177 passed the House and Senate with unanimous Republican support (insert facepalm), only to be vetoed by Governor Brewer, who said the measure "creates significant new problems while failing to do anything constructive for Arizona." Heck, if that's her standard, she wouldn't have signed a shit load of nitwit legislation last session, like the Official Weapons bill, the Tea Party license plate, or the bill that permits Arizona to collect donations to build a border fence.
The Governor said the Birther Bill, which required presidential candidates to submit their birth certificate to Arizona's Secretary of State before their name would appear on the state's ballot, was "a bridge too far." You might ask, what constitutes "too far" for Jan Brewer, she of "Headless Bodies" fame? Here's a clue:
If [a birth certificate] was not available, the candidate would have had to provide at least two of the following: an early baptismal or circumcision certificate, hospital birth record, postpartum medical record signed by the person who delivered the child or an early census record. Arizona Republic
As far as I know, a certificate saying your male child had his pecker tip snipped off isn't a document that's required in other legal circles, but that didn't stop the dripping brainpans at the Arizona legislature from adding it to the list of affidavits they'll accept in order to prove one's fitness for Arizona. I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall at the committee meeting when they designed the bill. Just picture Seel and the other fundies debating foreskin requirements. Man, talk about dickheads.
I guess no one thought the penis amendment was strange, and I presume no women spoke up to mention the obvious. Apparently, last year Jan Brewer was one of only a few Republicans in Arizona who considered it in poor taste to ask a presidential candidate for his circumcision records.
So, Carl Seel is back this session with a penis-free version. Rather than deal with a lot of documents, dickish or otherwise, Seel's new bill will require candidates to sign a statement testifying that they meet the citizenship qualifications for office. I guess the Federal requirement that's already on the books isn't enough for Seel and his merry band of bigoted conspiracy nuts at the legislature. The bill also includes a provision for citizens to file suit against a candidate, if they feel his or her paperwork is not satisfactory. Gee, I can't imagine anyone in Arizona questioning Obama's certificate! (We can play that game too, Carl.)
As I've said before, Seel is permanently stuck in Conspiracyville, and he just won't let it go. When President Obama released his long-form birth certificate last year, Seel said he wanted "a forensic evaluation of the document because there are just so many questions about it." Yeah, "questions" you slimebuckets keep raising.
In the same interview he praised Donald Trump for forcing the President to release his long-form certificate. Seel had just visited the pucker-faced turdball in NYC, a trip he said was "official business," because "Mr. Trump researched it and realized that there is a question about whether the current president is qualified." Yup, that's the kind of "official business" we're paying legislators to attend to. Hey Carl, remember when Trump said his investigators in Hawaii "cannot believe what they're finding"? What did they find?
If it's your alleged brain or a smattering of common decency, please reinstall them, because with Senator Russell Pearce gone from the scene, you're making a good-faith attempt to wear the mantle of a #1 Looney Racist Jackass.