Hello, human diary. It is I again, Mitt Romney, your better.
Today I am preparing for the next debate, which will be about foreign policies. This will my most challenging debate, as I generally have never had many foreign polices (not that I am not a well-traveled wealth unit, Mr. Diary—and my intricate knowledge of the tax codes of small island nations is, I believe, unmatched).
I believe my primary foreign policy argument in the debate will be that this other person's foreign policy is bad. That should serve well enough; the problem is elaborating on that theme for 90 minutes. This has, unfortunately, forced me into consultations with my foreign policy advisers. They are as disturbing a group as I remember, but at least their policy prescriptions remain consistent. I am to argue for war with Iran, because they may possibly be harboring weapons of mass destruction. I am to argue for increased vigilance towards the Soviet Union, because we do not like them. I am to mention that China is very bad, because they manipulate currencies (I have had wonderful dealings with China in the past, and as far as I know currencies are among the better things in this world to manipulate, so this particular argument has always baffled me, but my advisers keep insisting on its brilliance).
There is also something about Libya, but it is confusing and I never remember it right.
In other news, yesterday I attended a benefit dinner in which the purpose was to dress in very expensive clothes and humorously insult people. I am very good at both dressing in expensive clothes and insulting people, so it was quite an enjoyable experience. I believe I demonstrated both skills admirably.