With the holidays and the fiscal cliff and all the extra work we're facing now that those pesky Mayans let down the doomsday preppers, your intrepid diarist knows that you don't have time to delve into the news in detail. Fear not: your limerick summary of the past week's shenanigans is right here. If you're not busy shopping, trimming the tree, baking, shipping packages, shoveling snow, rearranging your flights, or figuring out how you're going to pay your bills, feel free to add your own limericks in the comments. It takes a village to cover all the insanity.
So the Mayan predictions were bunk
We're still here! What the heck? Who'da thunk?
Come back down from the hills
Do the wash, pay your bills
Clean the house, and haul off all that junk
Christmas shopping! You've just a few days!
Navigating the big-box-store maze
Use your holiday clout!
Max your credit cards out!
Going broke: the new middle-class craze!
Winter storms sweep the plains and Midwest
Heading east, putting folks to the test
Weather Channel lays claim
Giving storms their own name
In their shameless TV ratings quest
With 10 days 'till we go off the "cliff"
We keep hearing that same Boehner riff
"I've done all I can do!"
Millionaires? I'm with you!
(But too bad for you, poor working stiff...)
Eric Cantor can't wipe off that smirk
What a smarmy, contemptible jerk
Boehner's crying "et tu?!"
Now his speakership's through
Eric's plans are beginning to work!
With the GOP in disarray
Heading home to enjoy Christmas day
Will Obama prevail
While Republicans bail?
Here is what Magic 8-Ball doth say:
"Ask again" for the answer's not clear
"As I see it", there's no cause for fear
"Outlook good", so have faith
So the oracle sayeth
Boehner's done, so there's reason to cheer
Freaked-out Kossacks lament "we're so screwed!"
That Obama would think to include
Painful benefit cuts
"That guy just has no guts!"
[What a sadly naive attitude]
Give the guy some respect, for Pete's sake!
For who else would be able to make
House Republicans turn
On each other and burn
Down the House when so much is at stake?
Grover Norquist is fading away
Once important, he now holds no sway
Who'll go next? Pompous Rush?
(It just takes one more flush)
Will next year bring that great judgment day?
Gun control: will we pass it next year?
Can we find the resolve through our fear?
Can we find common ground
Through our grief so profound?
For the children, we must persevere
While the news often seems all too bleak
There's some good, if you're willing to seek
So have faith; don't despair
Love each other; and dare
To believe: it's the holiday week
It's your turn, fellow Kossacks; have fun!
For this diary's not really done
'Til you add your own verse
Whether better or worse
There are limericks yet to be spun!