But, but, we're right, and ninety-eight percent of our flock is wrong!
It's all right here in the Good Book.
In the beginning, there was, "The Persecution by the Trojans" in Galilee!
Which led to, in Bishops three-eighteen, the "Sermon on the Mounting," where Jesus made condoms and naughty thoughts disappear!
Verily, Jesus declared to his followers, that birth control is "intrinsically wrong."
[Disclaimer Guy: Actually, really declared by some guy in nineteen-sixty-eight.]
And yea, in Bishops twenty-twelve it is written, that "conception leadeth not, to fewer abortions."
Bishops work in mysterious ways!
And sent from on high, would come a prophet, in simple sleeveless vestments, to help the faithful defeat the wicked king, before he spreads his health care seed!
Our Bishops, who art quite heavenly, hallowed be our game.
Our Kingdom come, our will be done,
Keeping women down a rung.
With all our might, we're so far right,
We're sexperts as you know.
Our Holy Plan, for all mankind is . . .
Simply just say no.
This is the Word of the Bishops.
Aaaamen . . .