Okay, everyone's probably seen or at least heard of this ABCNews item from yesterday where an unnamed GOP Senator advocated convincing a new candidate to enter the Presidential race if Mitt Romney ends up losing Michigan. While I do agree with some of Senator Incognito's points (his prediction that both Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich would lose 35 states if they were the nominee is spot on in my view), his hope for a new candidate is pretty much wishful thinking.
Putting aside the fact that (a) a new entry would have no organization or whatnot this late in the game and would have a damn hard time catching up and (b) the present candidates would explode (you think Romney, who's sole job the last six years has been "Presidential Hopeful" would take this lightly?), the main question I have is, who do they have? Who is this mythical "new candidate" that Senator Anonymous thinks could come galloping in on a white horse?
It would have to be somebody else, the senator said. Who?
"Jeb Bush," the former Florida governor.
No. Just no. I'm sorry, Senator Witness Protection, but anyone with the last name "Bush" is DOA in this election. The stink of his brother's failures is still too fresh. Not to mention that the GOP seems hellbent on pretending Dubya ever existed.
But even putting the Jeb fantasies aside, what other options does the GOP have? I know the common conventional wisdom is that all strong GOP contenders bowed out this election cycle, but is that really true? Look at the list of so-called GOP "contenders" and tell me if they really are "white knight" material.
Chris Christie: Just vetoed the gay marriage bill. Comes off as an arrogant asshole. Likely won't win reelection next year. And to be cruel, he's too fat. Americans won't vote for a President who looks like he'll drop dead during the Inaugural Ball if they decide to do the Chicken Dance.
Mitch Daniels: Not telegenic. Rabidly anti-labor in a pro-labor year. Bush's former budget director, which means he shares a lot of the blame for the deficit. Just gave a lackluster SOTU response (and we all know how that can nuke Presidential hopes...look at how quickly Bobby Jindel vanished from GOP chatter about future Presidential hopefuls after his Kenneth the Page impersonation three years ago). Wife won't let him come out and play.
John Thune: An empty suit with nothing on his resume save knocking off Tom Daschle. (I remember Steve Benen calling Thune the GOP's John Edwards, meaning he has no real qualifications simply other than looking good.)
Jim DeMint: Would scare the holy fuck out of 75% of the country as thoroughly as Santorum and Gingrich are.
Sarah Palin: I need to go to the hospital. I think my kidneys may have ruptured from the sheer gale force of my laughter.
Face it, Sentor Hush Hush. There is no GOP white knight who can come in and save you. There is no substitution. There are your candidates. A flop-flopping 1% who can't connect with ordinary Americans short of bribery and who your base treats like an STD; a loathsome grifter who invites personal repulsion from everyone, a yamering dimwitted theocrat who seems ready to launch Spanish Inquisition II: Torquemada Was A Pussy and that other guy who you treat as the crazy old man yammering away in the corner at the rest home.
I know it sucks, but life's often hard. Stop crying and deal with it.