Ever since the days of Saint Ronnie, we've been listening to the claims of a "conservative majority" in this country. Whenever reality gets in the way of this argument, conservatives blame their candidates--Dole, Bush I, McCain all lost because they weren't "true conservatives", and/or lousy campaigners (which of course some of them were), but NOT because the values of the rabid conservatives are in fact a minority ideology. Well, I for one am tired of hearing this argument rehashed. It's time to settle this question once and for all, so we can take stock of the national will, and move in that direction. I think that Santorum's nomination offers a way out of this impasse.
Say what you will about Rick Santorum, at least his political philosophy has been consistent over his career, and utterly representative of the religiously conservative "culture war" mentality. For those on the right whose fuzzy memories recall Reagan as an embodiment of their values (he wasn't, by the way), Rick Santorum qualifies as a political Second Coming. If Romney or Gingrich get the nomination, then those proponents will be off the hook yet again--since both are direly flawed as candidates, and of course neither is the earnest representative of those values that Santorum is. If they indeed see it as a culture war, then Santorum is the best champion they've had in decades--even if we know that the only reason he might win the nomination is because of the incredible weakness of his opponents.
Some of you worrywarts out there express concern that Rick Santorum might actually beat Obama in the general election. I think that supposition is absurd--Santorum is far enough out of the mainstream that he lost his Senate seat in the 2006 election by double digits. His paleolithic brand of morality is going to run off fiscally-conservative-but-socially-moderate Republicans like an Ebola virus outbreak, ESPECIALLY women. He will be the Republicans' own George McGovern--the bellwether Democratic candidate that proved that the hippies WEREN'T going to take over the government, and drove liberals toward a pragmatism that embraced Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, and now Barack Obama. (NOT to in any way compare McGovern the man--a wonderfully forthright and virtuous man--to a dick like Santorum!)
My hope is that, as a youthful True Believer, Santorum will inspire a millenial rise of the faithful to once and for all "take back our country"--which will result in their decisive and humiliating defeat. This in turn will drive the religiously dogmatic hordes back to taking solace in their religion in the face of an unreceptive World, and praying for the Apocalypse so God will come and right things Himself--the way they used to back in the pre-Reagan days. Such an election will allow the Religious Right to remember that Jesus said this is indeed a wicked and indifferent World, but that the faithful are still entitled to their kingdom in their hearts and in the hereafter--but NOT in these here United States of America.
So like I said, let's call it what it is, a culture war. Let the true right wing have their champion, then let him have a shot. This is a country moving persistently toward the legalization of marijuana and gay marriage, with a vibrant pornography industry, more "illegitimate" and mixed race children than ever, and a notable surfeit of actual church-goers. I'm ready to rumble--LET'S BRING IT ON!!!