My friend is close to death now. She's floating in that "somewhere in between" life and death. She looks peaceful. There is no struggling, no evidence of pain. and I know she is more than ready to move on.
One by one, as we age, people we love die. I've sat with so many already, and I long ago lost count of how many deaths I've attended over 50 years in nursing. It is, to me, such an honor: such a sacred thing to witness and be a part of.
I hold her hand, so thin, the skin almost transparent, and I think of the thousands of people those hands have touched and comforted over her long career as a nurse. I thought of how those hands loved and raised three children, all the meals she's cooked, all the laundry done, all the million tasks of daily living accomplished over her 78 years.
She whispers something. It's so hard to hear her now, so I come in close..."Sing" she whispers, "Sing" and I softly sing her favorite, "You Are My Sunshine", and see the shadow of a smile on that lined and beautiful face.
Otherwise, we sit in silence now: content to hold hands and let the process be. It's hard to describe in words, but this silence feels warm and filled with sweetness and love. As I've seen so often, there's this slight glow around her face, as if as the body fails, the spirit begin to show through.
Sometimes, I close my eyes, go into a meditative state, and see if I can join her for a bit, see what she sees,and experience what it's like in that "somewhere" place.
Tonight it was a sense of watching her soar gently in this warm blue space, not air, not water, but something warm, in between the two. It was wonderful and peaceful and I really could have stayed longer, but her daughter same in and it was time for me to be with her now. She just needs someone to lean on as she let's go of her Mom.
We sat on the couch together, and I just held her. All of the words that needed to be exchanged have been, more are just not needed. All that is needed is the simple miracle of another strong and loving presence to lean on.
People so often fret because they don't know what to say, as people lay dying and families grieve. But words just aren't important at times like this. Touch matters, whether it a hand held, or a soft hug. Let your eyes talk to theirs and say what doesn't need be spoken. Sit in silence with them, and let your heart talk to theirs.
She an I share the belief that death is really a sort of transition to a different state of existence, not the end of who we are. We both left organized religion long ago, and found our own ways of making sense of this life and this world. This comforts me now, for I know the bond between will last beyond forever.....
I thanked her for showing me how to walk this last lap with grace and courage. If I can manage to do this when my time comes, with half the grace she has, I will be ever grateful.
If anyone cares to wish her an easy passage, or a prayer, I thank you in advance.