The Republicans sure have a way with words.
Name a recent Republican bill in Congress that actually deals with the problem mentioned in the bill's title, as expressed, or even mentions the title subject in the body of the bill and you probably found a bill to name a local post office after a retiring Republican Congressman.
First, they came up with “save” Social Security and Medicare bills that are designed to destroy both programs. A more accurate title for the bills would be the “Destroy Americans’ Safety Nets and Let ‘em Die Acts,” but who but a few America-haters would dare to vote against a bill that contains the word “save” and “Medicare” in the same sentence?
Of course, Republican-controlled state legislatures across the country are busy passing so-called "anti-voter fraud" legislation despite the total lack of evidence of any voter fraud, anywhere! But the legislation does serve the purpose of defrauding the poorest among us out of their voting rights by demanding voter picture IDs from folks who can’t afford to partake in any service that demands a picture ID card in the first place. Hence, such anti-fraud legislation should more accurately be titled the “Let's Defraud Poor and Elderly Voters Act.” Apparently, removing a sufficient number of voting machines from heavily Democratic wards in Cleveland, Ohio and Jacksonville, Florida wasn’t enough to raise the Republican comfort zone in dealing with negative voting trends. If Democratic voters are willing to wait in six-hour lines at polling places, best to take away their reason to persevere into the night.
Another bizarrely titled Republican bill is waiting in the wings to be sprung in the event the right wing-stacked Supreme Court somehow can’t agree to kill the Affordable Healthcare Act, AKA Romneycare or Obamacare. To give proper author credit, both plans were originally the brainchild of the right wing Heritage Foundation way back in 1989 and became part of the House Republican healthcare plan in 1993 in answer to "Hillarycare." Romney adopted the plan for Massachusetts about ten years later. If you hate your own party's ideas (or conveniently just claim to), blame their origin on the other guy (you know, like the "Obama" bank bailout of 2008). But hey, enough with the boring facts. The current simmering Republican healthcare reform-killing bill is called, “Repealing the Job-Killing Health Care Law Act." House Republicans haven’t bothered to explain this juxtaposition of tangential title subjects but I can only assume they consider impoverished and middle-class illness survivors blessed with health insurance to be job retainers and therefore potential job-killers for the healthy among us. IMO, to believe anything else would suggest Republican House members are comprised mainly of murderous pricks and we all know that just can't be true... right?
Today, our esteemed Senators were scheduled vote on a Republican Wall Street deregulation bill which Party leaders have oddly titled “The Jobs Act,” even though the bill doesn’t mention jobs (or even healthcare reform). I haven't had the guts to check on the voting. Whatever the outcome, I can only assume they’ll follow up with a “Clean Up Wall Street Act” that strangely is all about mandates. In this case, mandating that government subsidized corporations (like G.E., Exxon, Koch Industries, etc) must ship all of their jobs overseas if they want to continue to pay zero taxes and receive fat rebates.
Perhaps the Republican legislators are simply not very good at matching subject titles with the contents of their bills, but what the Hades, they all sound so damnably good.
In keeping with that spirit, next week, House Republicans are expected to introduce the “Save Our Puppies and Kittens Act” which will allow nuclear power plant operators to dispose of nuclear waste by pulverizing spent fuel rods and sprinkling the detritus into school milk cartoons.
Now who among us hates puppies and kittens?