in Delaware!! Whoot! Soon Corporation Personhood will have to share RIGHTS with eggs and sperms!
Wilmington City Council Passes Resolution Urging 'Personhood' Rights For Sperm
The Wilmington City Council has a message for men -- sperm are people, too.
The council for Delaware's largest city passed a resolution by an 8-4 vote Thursday calling on the Delaware legislature, other state legislatures and the U.S. Congress to pass laws granting "personhood" rights to eggs and sperm. The resolution was authored by councilwoman Loretta Walsh as a protest in the current battle over women's health care access.
HASTE will make Unlawful Waste!
"[E]ach 'egg person' and each 'sperm person' should be deemed equal in the eyes of the government and be subject to the same laws and regulations as any other dependent minor and be protected against abuse, neglect or abandonment by the parent or guardian," says the resolution. "[L]aws should be enacted by all legislative bodies in the United States to promote equal representation, and should potentially include laws in defense of 'personhood,' forbidding every man from destroying his semen."
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Walsh isn't the first lawmaker to introduce such a measure. Sen. Constance Johnson, a Democratic state senator from Oklahoma, introduced and later withdrew an amendment to a "personhood" bill that would have given zygotes the same rights as adults. "However, any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman's vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child," reads the amendment.
Think of all the new Jobs, jobs, jobs this new law will create! Inventors where are you? A new use for RFID tags! The crazy world as we know it today will HAVE to come to a stand still! Law abiding Men will be so focused on accounting for each little sperm person they'll either have to become celibate, hey more priests for the Pope-yippee, no more wars! Porn and Viagra will be permanently banned and law-abiding women will be sheriffs by proxy! No more out-sourcing ..nut sack removal done cheap mom and pop Chop-Shops will be in every neighborhood- A great opportunity for the young people who can't afford to go to college to learn a new skill!
Men will need to attach a permanent sperm collector cup and deposit ALL ejaculations at nearest sperm bank within 24 hrs OR ELSE! NO more illegal Wet Dreams!
Women and or gay partners will be responsible for all missing sperms!
Don't let your sperms grow up to be unwanted children!
If you can't BEAT the crazy male politicians, might as well join 'em.
OY!
The moral- Don't mess with Mother Nature, GOP!