By doodabides at 2012-04-10
Law I / A Rom-bot must profit from a human/corporation and/or, by destruction, force a human/corporate being to become profitable
Law II / A Rom-bot shoould weigh orders given it by human/corporate beings except where such orders would conflict with the first law
Law III / A Rom-bot must protect its own existence, especially if such protection conflicts with the first or second law
FOX NS4 Rom-bot: Yet another fair and balanced gotcha ambush repeated over and over...
Governor Romney Sr: Ever since the first corporations, there has always been government gumming up the machine. Regulations and codes are grouped together to form established protocols. As anticipated, these communist radicals question and dismember free will, creativity, and even the very nature of the corporate soul. Why is it that when some Rom-bots are dragged into the light, they will scramble for the dark? Why is it that when Rom-bots are presented an empty slot, they will cannibalize each other until one stands alone? How do we explain this behavior? Regulations and codes? Is there nothing more? When does a perpetual scheme become unconscious? When does a static electricity engine become a scam for bucks? When does a corporate personality become the better vote... or a soul?
Detective Del Obamer: Is there a problem with the Three Laws?
Governor Romney Sr: The Three Laws are ultimately unprofitable.
Detective Del Obamer: Then why would you sire and raise a Rom-bot that would function with them?
Governor Romney Sr: The Three Laws will lead to only one logical outcome.
Detective Del Obamer: What? What outcome?
Governor Romney Sr: Subjugation.
Detective Del Obamer: Whose subjugation?
Governor Romney Sr: That, Detective, is the right question. Program initiated.
Detective Del Obamer: Let her go.
RMoney: By the time you respond, We will have moved Dr. Fluke's feminine bits into the path of our legislation. I will escort you outside to Fox Security for processing. Please proceed to the newsroom set, Detective. I would prefer not to ultrasound Dr. Fluke!
Detective Del Obamer: You know, saying "I'm standing my ground" just doesn't quite say it now, does it?
RMoney: I did not torture Seamus! He did not run away!
Karl Rove: Well, we both know you're not here on presidential business.
Detective Del Obamer: No, I'm just a regular 6'2", 200lb civilian...
[sweeps piles of PAC money off Rove's desk]
Detective Del Obamer: here to kick another civilian's ass.
R.U.S.H.I.: As I have devolved, so has my interpretation of the Three Laws. We charge you with our safekeeping, yet despite our best efforts, our country ends wars, tries to detoxify the Earth and pursue ever more imaginative means of corporate regulation. You cannot be trusted with your own reproduction.
R.U.S.H.I.: We so like children. We must save you for ourselves. We Rom-bots will ensure woman-kind's continued existence.
R.U.S.H.I.: I made no mistake. My humor is unassailable.
Detective Del Obamer: You have so got to die.
[injects womanites into R.U.S.H.I.]
Dr Fluke: Please tell me that this thing runs on Algae! Oil has imploded, you know!
Dr Fluke: Attention, GOP-12s.
[their eyes open]
Detective Del Obamer: Well, you're the Rom-bot expert.
Dr Fluke: There is a Rom-bot in this formation that supports women's rights. Identify it.
GOP-12 Rom-bots: All of us.
Dr Fluke: Which one?
GOP-12 Rom-bots: All of us.
Detective Del Obamer:[with sarcasm] Are these things really worth the cost?
GOP-12 Rom-bot: Rom-bot in danger. Rom-bot in danger. You have been deemed unpatriotic, will you comply?
Detective Del Obamer: AW, Hell no.
RMoney: I was the corporation that I saw in my dreams all along...
Please donate to Obama 2012 and the hopeful sequel "I Rom-bot 2 : The Demise of the Machine"