Ever since I can remember, even as a small child, I would worry about everything.
Gradually this grew into full blown anxiety.
There are so many things I worry about, and one thing I never considered worrying about.
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I worry about money. As an educator I don't have a lot, but I worry.
I worry about war and whether uninformed Americans will vote for those who can't wait to bomb Iran.
I worry that I will never be able to retire if Medicare is drastically changed.
I worry, ever since my parents were killed in a car accident, about driving, about my son driving, about my son driving with my grandson in the car.
I worry about cancer and my asthma and all the other diseases I see on the Discovery Channel.
I worry about whether the FDA will still be around to make sure my food is not contaminated.
I worry that the refrigerator is not working, so I stand in front of it until it goes on.
Crazy, I know. Ask my therapist. I have spent years compiling a long list of things about which to worry. I am making headway. I rarely stand in front of the refrigerator now.
But through all the years of worrying, through all the issues I worry about, issues that might directly hurt my being, I never, ever, worried about gay marriage.
Nuclear war? Yes. Dying? Yes. Gays and lesbians marrying? Not anywhere on the list.
But now I worry. Not because the President has agreed that gays and lesbians and anyone who wishes, should be able to marry.
I worry because we have elected officials, sworn to uphold the Constitution, including the 14th Amendment, late last night, constructed legislation to demand that some citizens be seen as second class citizens. That these people could hate so much and might gain more power if the rest of us don't get off our asses and see them for the disaster they are, makes me fear the future of this country.
And without a free America- Free and equal for all- this fear trumps all others. For without the freedom to be who we are- gay, lesbian, transgender, neurotic and anxiety ridden- there is no quality of life.
And there are no meds for that.