I guess I'm lucky to have lived 62 years before having a close friend die. I lost my father when I was young, and over the years all my grandparents, aunts and uncles. The day I said goodbye to my favorite uncle to get on a plane knowing I would never see him again was one of the saddest in my life. I've watched my mother lose all her siblings and all her close friends one by one, and known that soon it would be my own generation that would begin to fall away.
Now for the first time it's a dear friend. She's in the ICU on oxygen, unable to get enough air in her ravaged lungs, but alert and undrugged and trying to comprehend and accept her coming death. When I say goodbye before I get on a plane in a few days, I don't think I'll see her again.
How do you say goodbye for the last time, then turn and walk out the door?