Following is my draft of a letter for Cardinal Dolan. An early version appeared in a comment I posted a few days ago. I decided that I should expand my thoughts in a diary. The letter is still in draft, so your suggestions and comments would be most appreciated. Thanks in advance for your help.
Dear Cardinal Dolan:
My friend (he’s Jewish and snarky) thinks an Archbishop is above a Cardinal. I say he’s wrong. (I am not a Catholic either, but I am a Christian.) We got into it a bit and now we have a bet. It’s your chance to not only defend your church’s principles but yourself. (He said you looked like Humpty Dumpty when you were wearing the red beanie and silk robe -- or was it a parachute? -- the other day.) He will do 1,000 hail marries (heterosexual only) if you answer the following questions as only a wise man can. I can see a great convert opportunity here for you, and I know it is well worth your time to bring even a single soul to Jesus (and if you don’t act now, the Mormons will get to him in the end.) Here goes:
(1) How come the Vatican has bishops or butlers (or whatever they are called) arrested immediately when they leak stuff (non-bodily), but priestly pedophiles are encouraged to keep working quietly in the church for, say, another 20 or 30 years?
(2) Should taxpayer dollars support Catholic institutions by giving them special exclusions from laws that apply to all other people (including corporations)? What if these Catholic institutions are not required to either offer or pay for separate lady bits policies (but the insurance companies must)? Are you worried about the souls of these insurance companies, my friend?
(3) Why can’t you get your flock to listen to your pronouncements (and all good Catholics know that you are the lady bits expert) from the pulpit on Sunday? Do you really need government sanctions to enforce your pontifications (pun intended) in a manner inconsistent with our laws? Does it matter that some of the women who work for your institutions are not Catholic? Is my friend right in arguing that the church is using government sanctions to spread the Catholic message? (But I say the true message can be spread by unprotected sex alone -- without government intervention -- as long as these sex acts are strictly between a single man and single woman who are married and are seeking to procreate.)
(4) I most appreciate the insertion of the church’s wisdom into our secular political system here in the USA. We just love a robust political debate fueled by tax-exempt church contributions. And I am certain that your church will step forward to address any societal and financial costs that we ultimately face in the United States due to our government’s sanctioning of your religious policies (by specially exempting churches from our laws). I don’t mean to be untrusting, but could you please confirm all that? – thanks in advance. (My friend says the church’s position on the sanctity of life is that life begins at conception and ends at birth, but he’s a little snarky, like I said.)
(5) Finally, since my friend’s idea of religious freedom is the polar opposite of yours in the commercial workplace setting, who is right? Is it the guy with the stupidest hat?
I look forward to the blessing of your wisdom. Hail marry!
Regards,
dedwords