Last night, Lewis Black had another Back in Black segment about campaign fibs.
BARACK OBAMA (7/13/2012): Somebody invested in roads and bridges. If you got a business, you didn't build that. ... The point is, is that when we succeed, we succeed because of our individual initiative, but also because we do things together.
Most Americans hear that, and they fall asleep. But not the Romney campaign. They got right to work making this.
VOICEOVER: People who've worked hard, started a business, and created jobs, can't believe what President Obama is saying about them. "If you got a business, you didn't build that. Somebody else made that happen."
"Oh."
"Unbelievable."
"What an insult."
"I am outraged."
"I can't believe he just said that."
I can't believe it either, BECAUSE HE DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT!! Campaigns have finally arrived in the 21st century. They can produce bullshit at the same rate as actual bulls. If Romney could slow down for a minute, he'd realize he's attacking Obama for something that he agrees with.
MITT ROMNEY (2/8/2002): You Olympians, however, know that you didn't get here solely on your own power. For most of you, loving parents, sisters, or brothers encouraged your hopes, coaches guided, communities built venues and organized competitions. All Olympians stand on the shoulders of those who lifted them.
So to be clear. Running a business is something you do all by yourself. Running a 4-minute mile, that takes a village. (audience applause)
But, as long as your ad is fast, it doesn't matter if it's wrong. Just ask this guy in a Romney ad who says he built his business without any help.
JACK GILCHREST: My father's hands didn't build this company, my hands didn't build this company, my son's teams aren't building this company? ... Through hard work and a little bit of luck, we built this business.
Oh yeah. They did it with just hard work, a little bit of luck, and ALMOST A MILLION BUCKS IN TAX-FREE GOVERNMENT LOANS!!! But mostly hard work.
And Romney's not the only treating this campaign like a year-long opposite day. Obama's accusing Romney of discriminating against gays who want to adopt kids. When what Romney actually said was this.
MITT ROMNEY (5/10/2012): In my state, individuals of the same sex were able to adopt children. In my view, that's something which people have the right to do.
Look, you don't need to lie to make Romney look anti-gay. It's unnecessary! That's like Katy Perry adding fireworks to her breasts! WE WERE ALREADY LOOKING AT THEM!! (audience applause)
But the Romney campaign understands that the key to any good lie is specificity.
VOICEOVER: So where did the Obama stimulus money go? ... Electric cars from Finland.
Electric cars from Finland? I'd say that you can't make that shit up. BUT THEY DID!! The money didn't come from the stimulus. The loan program was started by Bush, and it wasn't for building electric cars from Finland. It was for engineering jobs in the U.S. But the point is, electric cars from Finland... ahhh, socialist!!
Video and full transcript below the fold.
The Presidential campaign is in full swing, and every day brings another bland stump speech full of namby-pamby platitudes.
BARACK OBAMA (7/13/2012): Somebody invested in roads and bridges. If you got a business, you didn't build that. ... The point is, is that when we succeed, we succeed because of our individual initiative, but also because we do things together.
Most Americans hear that, and they fall asleep. But not the Romney campaign. They got right to work making this.
VOICEOVER: People who've worked hard, started a business, and created jobs, can't believe what President Obama is saying about them. "If you got a business, you didn't build that. Somebody else made that happen."
"Oh."
"Unbelievable."
"What an insult."
"I am outraged."
"I can't believe he just said that."
I can't believe it either, BECAUSE HE DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT!! Campaigns have finally arrived in the 21st century. They can produce bullshit at the same rate as actual bulls. If Romney could slow down for a minute, he'd realize he's attacking Obama for something that he agrees with.
MITT ROMNEY (2/8/2002): You Olympians, however, know that you didn't get here solely on your own power. For most of you, loving parents, sisters, or brothers encouraged your hopes, coaches guided, communities built venues and organized competitions. All Olympians stand on the shoulders of those who lifted them.
So to be clear. Running a business is something you do all by yourself. Running a 4-minute mile, that takes a village. (audience applause)
But, as long as your ad is fast, it doesn't matter if it's wrong. Just ask this guy in a Romney ad who says he built his business without any help.
JACK GILCHREST: My father's hands didn't build this company, my hands didn't build this company, my son's teams aren't building this company? ... Through hard work and a little bit of luck, we built this business.
Oh yeah. They did it with just hard work, a little bit of luck, and ALMOST A MILLION BUCKS IN TAX-FREE GOVERNMENT LOANS!!! But mostly hard work.
And Romney's not the only treating this campaign like a year-long opposite day. Obama's accusing Romney of discriminating against gays who want to adopt kids. When what Romney actually said was this.
MITT ROMNEY (5/10/2012): In my state, individuals of the same sex were able to adopt children. In my view, that's something which people have the right to do.
Look, you don't need to lie to make Romney look anti-gay. It's unnecessary! That's like Katy Perry adding fireworks to her breasts! WE WERE ALREADY LOOKING AT THEM!! (audience applause)
But the Romney campaign understands that the key to any good lie is specificity.
VOICEOVER: So where did the Obama stimulus money go? ... Electric cars from Finland.
Electric cars from Finland? I'd say that you can't make that shit up. BUT THEY DID!! The money didn't come from the stimulus. The loan program was started by Bush, and it wasn't for building electric cars from Finland. It was for engineering jobs in the U.S. But the point is, electric cars from Finland... ahhh, socialist!!
If you're watching these ads and wondering, are they allowed to lie, here's a tip. YES!!
2/22/2012:
JOHN KING: What about arresting? Should there be aggressive, seek them out, find them and arrest them as Sheriff Arpaio advocates?
MITT ROMNEY: You know, I think you see a model here in Arizona.
Out of context
Romney not referring to SB 1070
NRCC AD: Since President Obama took full control of Washington ... every single day, more than 1,500 of our jobs have been lost.
PolitiFact: Mostly False
Uses misleading time frame
RED WHITE AND BLUE FUND: Romney left Massachusetts $1 billion dollars in debt.
PolitiFact: False
Cherry-picks highest number from range
SECURE AMERICA NOW: For his first interview as President, Barack Obama chose Arab TV for an apology.
PolitiFact: Mostly False
Obama never "apologized"
Wow. It's enough to make you lose faith in this great country. Is there anything we still hold to a standard of truth?
BRIAN WILLIAMS (4/27/2012): The maker of chocolate hazelnut spread, Nutella, has been running ads claiming spreading the stuff on toast is a healthy way to start your kids off in the morning. ... Today, the Nutella folks backtracked on the ads, and agreed to a $3 million dollar settlement for false claims.
First, no one deserves that money, because anybody who believes that melted chocolate nut cream was a healthy way to start the day IS AN IDIOT!! (audience cheering)
And second, America's back, baby! You may not need to be honest to be President, but if we're going to spread you on toast, you damn well better be telling the truth! Nutella 2012!
Jon also revealed that British people can once again
watch The Daily Show on British TV after 18 months of legal wrangling, which led him to look at the
problems London is facing with the Olympics about to start.
Meanwhile, Stephen looked at a new study
linking depression to late night TV.
He then covered the
drought disaster in the U.S. with climate scientist
Bruce Babcock, and had some news coming from
North Korea, and about our upcoming manned Mars mission.
Jon talked with
Matthew McConaughey, and Stephen talked with writer
James Fallows.