I was contacted for my take on the use of the words "Abuse" or "Victim" as it relates to Penn State. The author, Pauline Holdsworth, published her article today on Campus Progress.
The full text of what I sent to Ms. Holdsworth follows the jump:
Much has been made over the use of the word “victim” in describing those involved in the Jerry Sandusky, Penn State child sex abuse and cover up scandal.
So… who ARE the true victims here?
Some say Penn State is the victim – of one man’s actions – held accountable and made to pay the price for years as restitution for his actions.
Some say the students are the victims – held accountable for the wayward actions of a few drunks on a Wednesday night, rather than the thousands who stood in the cold by candle light.
Some say Joe Paterno is the victim – his legacy in shambles – unable to answer for himself, the victim of an incensed media ready to tear down his “good” name.
Some say the football players are the victims – unable to play in a bowl game for FOUR YEARS, fewer scholarships and teammates jumping ship.
Some say the community as a whole is the victim, under siege by a hostile media, made to look like villains right along with those who are truly culpable.
Some say the alumni are victims – directly affected by this administration’s decisions to fire beloved coaches, vacate wins, and accept sanctions without protest...
Some say the little 10, 11, 12, 13 year old boys who were raped, sodomized, and forced to perform oral sex on a man old enough to be their grandfather were victims.
So who ARE the true victims here?
I would argue – ALL OF US. That’s the insidiousness of child sexual abuse – no one gets away unscathed. It rips apart families, makes people take sides, forces people to face unspeakable truths. It puts us in the uncomfortable position of questioning ourselves – what did we miss? How could we miss the signs? Should we have known? Why didn’t we know? It changes the landscape of everything that we knew, leaving behind a devastation seemingly unrecoverable.
As Victim 6’s mother said, holding her sobbing son in that courtroom after the verdicts were read and a cheer went up outside, “Nobody wins,” she said “We’ve all lost.”
However, we don’t have to remain victims. We can survive and thrive. And we can stop future children from becoming victims! The key to moving forward is education. With statistics of 1:4 girls and 1:6 boys being sexually assaulted before the age of 18, 90% by someone they know, 68% by a family member, it is almost guaranteed that you know someone today who is a victim. Unfortunately, with numbers like that, you probably also know someone who is a pedophile.
Today, we can make a difference. Find a local charity that supports victims of child abuse and volunteer your time and/or money. Educate yourself on the warning signs of child sexual abuse and then teach your children how to best protect themselves. Finally, keep an open dialogue with any child you have in your life, teach them the difference between a “surprise” and a “secret” – one is inclusionary, one can be exclusionary and prone to abuse. Let every child know that no matter what you will listen to them, you will believe them, and you will protect them. You can find more resources at our website http://tree-climbers.org/...